Love in Divorce Court

It was no great story of irony

Although we’re sure

It seems that way

From a narrative viewpoint

He was there being divorced by his wife

And I was there divorcing my husband

And we saw each other, you know?

It really was that simple

We just…

Saw each other

And instantly, I’m like--

Oh no

Because I knew what this was

You know, it really is true

When you know, you know

And I knew

I knew right away

And I thought

Oh god, this is awful

Because the last thing you want

When you’re sitting in divorce court

Is to see someone

And know

That the person you’re seeing

Is the person you’re meant

To spend the rest of your life with

Because you’re sitting there, you know

You’re sitting there and--

It’s this sort of cruel moment

Because--

Because the first thing you think of

Is all the things you would say

About the first time you saw

The person you’re divorcing

How it was just as wonderful

And how you were just as certain

That you would never want to do anything

But die in their arms

And yet…

Here you are

Divorcing them

Hating them, if you’re honest

Hating their guts

And across the courtroom

There’s this person

This other person

And you go--

Shit

You know

It’s a huge problem for you

But what are you supposed to do?

We walked towards each other

He and I

And he introduced himself

I did the same

And we made a plan

To get coffee

And, I swear

We might as well have had a judge

Marry us then and there

Because we knew

Because we both knew

Exactly what was going on

And that’s why both of us were smiling

Throughout all of our divorce proceedings

People thought we were nuts

The judges in our respective cases

Asked if we needed psychiatric help

Because nobody smiles in divorce court

It’s unheard of

Even if you really, really want your divorce

You’re not standing there smiling

As your life falls apart

But that’s exactly what we were doing

We couldn’t help ourselves

That was seven years ago

And we’ve been married

For six of those seven years

We didn’t waste any time

And you know, people said at the time--

Why don’t you slow down?

Why don’t you wait?

What’s the rush?

And we’re not saying they’re wrong

But--

You’re going to spend a lot of your life

Heartbroken

You’re going to spend so much time

In rooms that feel like that courtroom

Hospital rooms

And offices

And waiting rooms

And none of it’s fun

And when you’re there

It feels like it goes on forever

It feels like it just--

Sucks up

So much of your life

So however much time you think

You can squirrel away

For happiness, well--

You’d better do it

You’d better get

All the time

You can