The ennui has settled over me
And so I must
Once again
Allow my fingers
To summon a change
That neither of us
Was anticipating
I must sever the plans
We had for this evening
I don’t know how
Things shifted
So rapidly
From the enthusiasm I felt
When first I put you
In my calendar a la Google
Who’s to say
Why my spirit dampened
At the thought
Of putting on clothes
And removing myself
From my chaise
Bathing so that I may look
Presentable
To you
Possible, future love o’ mine
The hair atop my head
Is in no shape
To be shown
Or shorn
But simply to be hatted
And trotted out
To some casual
Such as coffee
I should have known
Such would be
The case
And yet
I asked you to dinner
At an eatery
That serves rice
Next to meat
And that requires
A greater effort
On my part
An effort
I cannot bring myself
To bring forth
O ye, if only
I could speak
With my younger self
My self from two days ago
The self who thought
That dinner and drinks
Would be great fun
Without realizing
It would require
Me leaving work
With any gumption left
In my tank
Even as I was
Crossing my threshold
I believed myself
To be ready
To color the metropolis
With reds and off-reds
And slight reds
But then the grave error--
I did but sit
Upon my couch
And turn on
The television
Before I knew it
I had removed my shoes
And what’s more
My socks
I had pulled a blanket
Over me
The yawn that demanded
Its own existence
Won the battle against me
And I began
To scroll through my phone
And think how lovely it would be
To spend the rest of the evening
Reading the thoughts
Of people I don’t know
And don’t care for
As something plays
On the screen in front of me
As I barely pay attention
O possible future love
How could you ever compete
With such an intoxicating evening as that?
As I went to courier you
A digital condolence
It occurred to me
That mayhaps you also
Were reconsidering
Our great engagement
For the evening
I could only hope
As I sent my regrets
That you had your own chaise
And your comforter
And your own phone
Through which
You can see all the fun
Everyone you know
Is having
As you breathe a sigh of relief
Thinking--
My goodness
That could have
Been me
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