Interlude: Memory

My father could be

A very exacting man

If he thought you were

Capable

And if he didn’t
You just

Weren’t there

To him

So you grow up

With two choices

Malicious scrutiny

Or a total lack

Of parental attention

Doesn’t matter

Which one you get

You resent those

Who get the other

I was thought

To be incapable

Of just about anything

It wasn’t until
He got the phone call

From my teacher

About my special talent

For equations

That he gave me

A second look

But it was only

One second look

It took me winning

The junior scholar

Math competition

Which, just so you know,

Came with a hundred dollar prize

For him to think

That maybe there could be

More to me

Than he had previously

Ascertained

By then, my two sisters

Were used to getting up

Every day

At four am

Going to the field

Practicing

Hours before school

They were going to be

The golden tickets

Two of them

Just in case

One didn’t work out

That’s how my father

Would talk about them

Like they were going

To have to spend their whole lives

Figuring out

Which one was the winner

And which one

Was the insurance

And nobody ever thought

There was ever going to be

Any reason

To encourage me

To do anything

In two years,

I was winning tournaments

Worth thousands of dollars

And all that meticulous dotage

From my father

Not only came due

But arrived with ferocity

To, uh, you know

Make up for lost time

They want to know

If I care enough

To speak

At his funeral

Neither one of my sisters

Were asked

Because he made it

Very clear

To everyone

That they were his

Twin disappointments

Nobody ever came close

To what I managed

To pull off

And all before

The age of fifteen

I counseled my sisters

That while I understand

Their pain

I don’t see why

We shouldn’t think about

How after he was putting you

Through your paces

He would take you out

For a hamburger

And for whatever reason

No matter where the hamburger was from

No matter how cheap

The fast food chain

Or how dive-y

The greasy spoon

It was always

The best hamburger

You’ve ever had

In your life

It meant you did well

That day

And trust me

There weren’t many days

Like that