We Might Be Heroes: Immortality

(JEANA and ANDREW are waiting for a bus.  A moment passes.  JEANA looks at ANDREW.)

JEANA:  Are you going to DC?

            (A beat.)

ANDREW:  Yeah.  I mean, that’s where the bus is going, so—

JEANA:  But, like, are you going because you’re, you know—

ANDREW:  One of them?

JEANA:  Yeah.

ANDREW:  I mean, I think I am.

JEANA:  So what is it?  Your skill, I mean.

ANDREW:  My skill?  Um, well—

JEANA:  Can you fly?  I really want to meet someone who can fly.

ANDREW:  No, I can’t fly.  But, I, uh…

JEANA:  If you’re nervous, I’m, um—I can turn into water.  Like a puddle of water.

ANDREW:  What’s the point of that?

JEANA:  I don’t know.  What’s the point of—whatever the hell you do?

ANDREW:  I can’t die.

JEANA:  Excuse me?

ANDREW:  I can’t die.  I’m immortal.

JEANA:  Seriously?

ANDREW:  Yeah.

JEANA:  But, like, how do you know that?

ANDREW:  I don’t.  I mean, I don’t know it, but…I believe it.

JEANA:  Oh.  So you’re just crazy.

ANDREW:  I’m not crazy.

JEANA:  It’s fine.  This whole superhero recruitment program is bringing out a lot of crazy people.  My stepdad works at the prison, and he says all the inmates are claiming to have special powers because they know it’ll get them out of jail for a little while.

ANDREW:  I can’t die.

JEANA:  Have you ever actually tested that theory?

ANDREW:  Like—

JEANA:  Thrown yourself off a building?  Out of a window?  Out of a plane?

ANDREW:  I don’t think I can’t be killed.  I just think I can’t die.

JEANA:  Okay, well that’s totally pointless.

ANDREW:  What?

JEANA:  You’re saying as long as nothing bad happens to you, you won’t die.

ANDREW:  Yeah.

JEANA:  That’s not a super power, you idiot.  That’s true of everybody.

ANDREW:  Not really.

JEANA:  That’s like saying as long as a truck doesn’t hit me or some wacko doesn’t stab me to death, I’ll live forever.  Actually, that’s not ‘like’ saying that, that’s literally saying that.  Like, not figuratively.

ANDREW:  There are other things that could happen to you that would end your life aside from weird circumstances like those.

JEANA:  Like what?

ANDREW:  Like just—aging.  Sickness.  Natural stuff.

JEANA:  And you don’t think any of those are going to happen to you?

ANDREW:  I mean, I’ve been sick.  And I’ve gotten older.  But I don’t think I’m going to die from any of that.

JEANA:  And what makes you believe that?

ANDREW:  I don’t know.  It’s always been this thing in the back of mind, and then…When I heard about the aliens, and the possible war, I just thought—this is it.  This is what you’ve been feeling.  This is why you haven’t died.

JEANA:  Yeah, haven’t yet, but—Even if you’re not going to age or get sick, if you can be killed, then those aliens are going to kill you.

ANDREW:  You’re probably right.

JEANA:  Then why are you going to D.C.?  Shouldn’t you be hiding somewhere?

ANDREW:  Doing what?  Trying not to die?

JEANA:  Yeah!  I mean, if you really believe that you can live forever as long as you don’t get yourself killed, then why sign up to, you know, basically get yourself killed?

ANDREW:  Because maybe one day a truck will hit me or some guy will stab me or I’ll develop a food allergy and die in some chain restaurant because my fried chicken was cooked in peanut oil?  If I’m gonna go, I may as well go fighting aliens.  At least that’s badass.

JEANA:  What a waste.  Someone on the planet can live forever, and they’re throwing themselves in front of alien laser guns or beams or whatever.

ANDREW:  What?  You don’t think you’re going to die?  What are you going to do if the aliens try murdering you?  Are you just gonna turn yourself into a puddle and slip into the nearest body of water?

JEANA:  That’s not really my superpower.

ANDREW:  It’s not?

JEANA:  No, c’mon, dude.  A puddle?

ANDREW:  Hey, I don’t know.  Have you ever read a comic book?  There’s all kinds of weird powers.

JEANA:  Well, I didn’t get a weird one.  Mine’s pretty lame.

ANDREW:  Are you going to tell me what it is?

JEANA:  (Sighs.)  Give me your hands.

ANDREW:  You’re not going to zap me, are you?

JEANA:  Zap you?  I’m not Electro-Girl.

ANDREW:  I don’t know.  I’m just nervous.

JEANA:  Well, you should be nervous, but not for the reason you think.

ANDREW:  So what—

JEANA:  You should be nervous because I’m about to rain on your parade.

            (She takes his hands.)

ANDREW:  I don’t—

JEANA:  I can tell you the day you’re going to die.  The time.  The place.  And how.

            (A beat.)

ANDREW:  No.

JEANA:  No?

ANDREW:  No.  I don’t…I don’t want to—

JEANA:  I mean, it shouldn’t work on you, right?  If you’re not going to die.

ANDREW:  The aliens kill me.  I know that already.  So it’s just—

JEANA:  That’s not what I’m seeing.

            (A beat.)

ANDREW:  No?

JEANA:  No.

ANDREW:  Okay.

JEANA:  Do you want to know?

ANDREW:  I said I didn’t.

JEANA:  Because you thought you knew, but now you know you don’t know, so do you want to know?

ANDREW:  No.

JEANA:  But I have to tell you.

ANDREW:  Why?

JEANA:  Because if I don’t tell you then I’m useless.  My power is useless.

ANDREW:  What are you going to do?  Hold hands with the aliens and tell them when they’re going to die?  You going to freak them out so they get back in their spaceships and turn around to—

JEANA:  It’s tomorrow.

ANDREW:  What?

JEANA:  It happens tomorrow.

ANDREW:  But—that’s—

JEANA:  I mean, sometimes I’m off by a day—

ANDREW:  So it could happen the day after tomorrow?

JEANA:  Yeah.  (A beat.)  Or today.

ANDREW:  How?

JEANA:  You want to know how?

ANDREW:  Yes.

JEANA:  You said—

ANDREW:  To hell with what I said.  How do I die?

JEANA:  It’s quiet.  It’s soft.  It’s fast.

ANDREW:  But how—

JEANA:  And it’s not fighting aliens.  It’s not really anything at all, it’s just…One minute you’re here, and then…

ANDREW:  Oh.

            (A beat.)

How do you go?

JEANA:  I don’t know, I’ve never…I’ve never done myself.

ANDREW:  Why?

JEANA:  (Shrugs.)  I guess I’m a wimp.

ANDREW:  Guess there’s no point getting on the bus.

JEANA:  You should still get on the bus.

ANDREW:  Why?

JEANA:  Honesty?  Because I don’t want to ride alone.

ANDREW:  I thought I was going to be a hero.

JEANA:  How you die doesn’t tell me how you lived.  For all I know, you could already be a hero.

ANDREW:  I don’t’ think I am.

JEANA:  You didn’t think you were mortal either, and look how that turned out.

ANDREW:  Do you know what the last thing I say before I die is?

JEANA:  Yes.  (A short beat.)  You say—I look great in this dress.

ANDREW:  Really?

JEANA:  No, I’m just messing with you.  (He laughs, she laughs.  A short beat.)  You say, it’s all right.  Just that—it’s all right.

ANDREW:  Huh.  (A beat.)  Then I guess it’ll be all right then?

JEANA:  Yeah, I guess so.

            (They look at each other.  Lights.)

We Might Be Heroes: X-Ray Vision

I can see right through you

I could look at my brother

And see his dark thoughts

His periwinkle curiosity

The dreams he had of big cities

And small personalities

I could see his hands dipped in paint

Reddish gold with flecks of blue

Blue doesn’t belong there

Blue belongs in another can

Far across the room

They want to know what I can do

I can see right through you

And you and you

When the aliens come

They’ll let the crazy people

Out of the crazy hospitals

And the crazy houses

And the memory palaces

And the chosen vaults

And the pickling jars

And the produce sections

And the pharmacies

And the tanning booths

And the trespassing yards

And the fenced in anomaly situations

They’ll have us be the first wave

Us loony birds

Us cuckoo clocks

Us color blind

Us, us, us

They’ll make us take hands

And work our way around the earth

Like a gate with no door

No lock, no key

Blue light in flakes will fall down on us like snow

And we’ll dissipate into ozone holes

Like carbon vapor

Monastic dioxide

Can you use my x-ray vision?

Do you want me to look at the aliens

And tell them who they are?

Because when I do that now

I’m called homeless

I’m ignored

I’m walked by

When the world turns upside down

Will I be the sane one?

The genius?

The savior?

Will you look at me and ask for my help?

After refusing to help me

Over and over again?

Will I be your new god?

I looked at my brother once

And told him that his bones

Were made of candy canes

And he thought I was making a joke

But I wasn’t joking

They’ve lied to us, you see

We humans are not skin and blood and veins

The way they say we are

We’re candy canes and ginger snaps

Wasabi peas and tarragon

Association and disassociation

Contradictions and synonyms

Red and gold and bits of blue

That pop up when you don’t need them to

You see past me?

Well, I see through you

And I know what you’re going to do

And I know what I’m going to do

I’m going to try to hug those aliens

Wrap my arms around them

The way I did my brother

Tell them they don’t need to push and shove

To get a little bit of love

They only need to come in peace

Then I’ll close my eyes

And see for miles and years

And endless, endless time

How nice it’ll be

How nice it’ll be

How nice it’ll be

To close my eyes

We Might Be Heroes: Invisible

(JERRY, STEPHANIE, and DEREK are at the food court of the mall.)

DEREK:  So she’s sitting here right now?

JERRY:  Yes.

DEREK:  And you can see her.

JERRY:  Yes.

STEPHANIE:  Can he hear me?

                (DEREK jumps.)

DEREK:  What the hell?

JERRY:  Geez, Stephanie, sight and sound have nothing to do with each other.  Don’t you know anything about physics?

DEREK:  She’s really invisible right now?

JERRY:  Yes.

DEREK:  But then how can you see her?

JERRY:  I don’t know.  This all happened after the explosion at the nuclear plant when we were twelve.  She could go invisible and I could still see her.

DEREK:  So your only power is seeing her.

JERRY:  I know, it’s, like, super lame.

STEPHANIE:  Hey!

DEREK:  Ah!

STEPHANIE:  Don’t say it’s lame.  It’s awesome.  We’re connected to each other forever.

JERRY:  Yeah, but you get, like, an awesome superpower and I have to be, like, your sidekick.

STEPHANIE:  Jerry—

JERRY:  And you don’t even really need me unless you want people to know you’re around when you’re invisible, which, like, defeats the purpose of being invisible.

STEPHANIE:  That’s not true.  And you’re not my sidekick.  You’re my friend.

DEREK:  How long can she stay invisible?

STEPHANIE:  Ew, I’m right here, Derek.

DEREK:  Ah!  I keep forgetting.

JERRY:  Stephanie, can you just appear already?

STEPHANIE:  No, we’re in a food court.  There are people everywhere.

JERRY:  It’s Providence Place.  A girl appearing out of thin air would be the least weird thing that’s happened here in months.

STEPHANIE:  Fine.

(She snaps her fingers.)

DEREK:  Oh my God!  It’s true.

STEPHANIE:  NOW you believe it’s true?

DEREK:  I thought maybe you guys were playing a joke on me.  Like, maybe there was a microphone under the table or something.

JERRY:  No, it’s just magic.

STEPHANIE:  It’s not magic, Jerry.  It’s a mutation.

JERRY:  Whatever.  Can you turn invisible again and go get me a milkshake from Johnny Rockets?

STEPHANIE:  My ability isn’t a toy you can use to get free milkshakes.

JERRY:  You’re like the worst superhero ever.

STEPHANIE:  What?

JERRY:  You’re supposed to help people.

STEPHANIE:  Yeah, well, you’re the worst sidekick ever.

JERRY:  I KNEW I WAS YOUR SIDEKICK!

DEREK:  Steph, how are you going to fight the aliens?

STEPHANIE:  By turning invisible.

DEREK:  But how does that help?

STEPHANIE:  I don’t know.  I’m not the government.  Let them figure it out.

JERRY:  Maybe they can shoot her at the alien ships.

DEREK:  Like a missile?

JERRY:  Yeah, like an invisible missile.

DEREK:  She’ll die!

JERRY:  A noble sacrifice.

DEREK:  How is it noble?

JERRY:  I don’t know.  All sacrifices are noble.  It’s like how all milkshakes are delicious.

DEREK:  She won’t even make a dent!  She’s just a person.  We’re talking about ships made out of—stuff that aliens have.

STEPHANIE:  Well, I have to do something.  I’m a superhero.

DEREK:  Are you though?

STEPHANIE:  What are you saying Derek?

DEREK:  Don’t you need to actually save someone to be a superhero?  It’s not just about having the powers—

STEPHANIE:  I’m trying to save someone.  I’m trying to save the whole planet.

DEREK:  But you won’t.

JERRY:  But she can try.

DEREK:  Yeah, and then she’ll die, and then she’ll be a martyr, but she won’t be a hero.

STEPHANIE:  Aren’t martyrs heroes?

DEREK:  Not always.  Some of them are just stupid people who sacrificed themselves when they could have actually stuck around and done some good.

STEPHANIE:  What do you want me to do, Derek?  Just stay here going on and off like a light switch?  I have a gift.  I’m not going to treat it like it’s some kind of parlor trick.

DEREK:  But that’s exactly what it is.  It’s not a gift.  Nobody gave it to you.  It’s the result of an awful thing that happened to you.

STEPHANIE:  I have to believe there’s more to it than that.

DEREK:  Why?  Why do you need to believe that?

STEPHANIE:  Because I want to be special!

                (A beat.)

JERRY:  I mean, we’re all special.  Even Derek’s special, and he’s really not.

DEREK:  My Dad ran into a burning building because there might have been somebody inside.

STEPHANIE:  Derek—

DEREK:  He didn’t need to do that.

JERRY:  There could have been somebody in the building.

DEREK:  But there wasn’t.  There was nobody in the building, and there was me at home in bed waiting for my Dad to get back from working a double at the firehouse so I could go to sleep because I couldn’t sleep without hearing him say goodnight to me.  That’s not a hero.  You’re not a hero because you saw a burning building and thought of the invisible people inside before you thought of your own kid.

STEPHANIE:  Maybe he wasn’t thinking.

DEREK:  And maybe you’re not thinking.

JERRY:  Derek, she just wants to help.  We all want to help.  And most of us are going to get stuck down here on Earth waiting for something to happen.  Even if we beat the aliens, or if they decide not to attack us, from this point on, it’s just going to be like—Okay, I’m one of the people on the sidelines.  I’m not a fighter.  I’m not a hero.  I’m nobody.  Like, from now on, anybody who thinks they’re somebody is going to know that they’re not.  Our entire generation believes that they’re secretly famous and the rest of the world just needs to realize it, and when the rug gets pulled out from under that idea, it’s going to be really catastrophic.  Like, suicide rates are going to go through the roof.  Or worse.

DEREK:  What do you mean worse?

JERRY:  Villains don’t always exist just because they want to be bad.  Most of the time, they just couldn’t be the hero, but they still wanted to be somebody.

DEREK:  I feel like I could be a villain.

JERRY:  You’ve got the right origin story for it.

STEPHANIE:  He’s also got a really good origin story for a hero.

DEREK:  But I don’t have any powers.

JERRY:  Batman doesn’t have any powers.  He’s just a millionaire.

STEPHANIE:  So you could become a millionaire.

JERRY:  But you’d have to do it before the aliens attack.

STEPHANIE:  If they attack.

JERRY:  Right.

DEREK:  What about you, Jerry?  Are you just going to stay a sidekick?

JERRY:  Well, it would make more sense for me to become Steph’s nemesis.

STEPHANIE:  Jerry!

JERRY:  I’m sorry, but it’s true.  I’m the only one who can see you when you’re invisible.  That means I’m the only one who can stop you.

STEPHANIE:  Stop me from what?

JERRY:  I don’t know.  I can’t think.  I need a milkshake.

STEPHANIE:  I can’t steal for you, Jerry.  If I steal, I’m not a hero.

DEREK:  How do you know you are a hero?  Maybe you’re a villain.

                (A beat.)

JERRY:  Ooooohhhh.

STEPHANIE:  The aliens are the villains.  I’m not a villain.

DEREK:  But you can’t really be a hero either.

JERRY:  But you can get me a milkshake.

STEPHANIE:  Ugh.

                (She takes out a five dollar bill and hands it to JERRY.)

Just go get yourself a milkshake.

JERRY:   Wow.  Now you really are my hero.

                (He takes the five dollar bill and exits.)

DEREK:  Maybe the aliens can see invisible people.  Have you ever thought of that?

STEPHANIE:  I think if you think too much, you never do anything.  You just sit around waiting for somebody to walk up to you and say ‘Now.  Do it now.  Grow up now.  Become somebody now.’  Nobody’s going to wave a flag for me, Derek.  I just have to go for it.

DEREK:  If we beat the aliens, but you don’t come back, I might be so mad about it I’ll just blow up the world anyway.

STEPHANIE:  How?

DEREK:  I don’t know, but the thing is…You only need superpowers to save something, you don’t need anything to destroy it.

STEPHANIE:  Then I hope I survive so I can save you after I save the world.

DEREK:  I wish you could save me first.

STEPHANIE:  Why?

DEREK:  Because then saving the world wouldn’t seem so hard.

                (She puts her hands over his hands.  Lights.)

We Might Not Be Heroes: Liddy, Later

I was going to volunteer to fight

But I wasn’t sure what they were looking for

I do have a talent most people don’t have

But I wouldn’t say it’s all that…useful

I can levitate

I’ve been able to do it

Ever since I was a kid

But I can’t go very high

Only a few feet

My mother was the opposite of me

She could sink

Deep into the ground

And I doubt that would have been useful

To anybody either

But floating four feet above the earth

Doesn’t seem like it would come in handy

For fighting alien hordes, does it?

And also…I’m afraid

I’m afraid that even if I can’t do anything

They’re going to make me try

And I’m not a very courageous person

My mother was

She was strong and determined

And she would have punched an alien in the face

Without thinking twice about it

Even if he had a laser gun

Or tentacles for arms

But I’m not like my mother

I live a very quiet life

I work at the cosmetics department at Nordstrom’s

I was married, then divorced, then married again

One kid from the first marriage, two kids from the—

Oh God, why am I telling you this?

You don’t care

You’re not interested in me

You just want to know if I’m going to sign up or not

Well, I don’t know

I don’t know

I barely even use my powers

Do you know the last time I levitated?

Four years ago

--And it wasn’t even intentional

My son was playing outside

And he fell down and scraped his elbow

Little red specks of blood like ants

Creeping up his arm

Nothing major

But children feel things so much more than we do

I know I did when I was younger

I picked my son up

--I could do that then, he’s too big now, but—

I held him in my arms

And I said ‘It’s okay, it’s okay’

As soothing as I could

And he stopped crying

And then he looked down and gasped—

‘Mommy,’ he said, ‘We’re flying’

Then I looked down and realized

We were levitating

Something about needing to comfort my child

Sent me into a state of levity

Without me even realizing it

I didn’t want to scare him

So I said, ‘Yup, Mommy can fly sometimes’

And he said, ‘Okay, Mommy, just don’t go any higher.’

And I said, ‘No, I won’t.  I promise’

And I didn’t

I promised

Mothers can do things

That other people can’t

And other people can do things

That mothers can’t

That’s just how it is

We can burrow into the earth

And we can alleviate the pain of our children

By lifting them up just high enough

So that the things on the ground

Can’t hurt them

But things that come from the sky?

I don’t know how to protect anybody from that

My son asked me if I was going to volunteer

He remembered the time he flew

He never forgot it

And I don’t lie to him

So when he asked if he imagined it, I said—

‘No, sweetie, you didn’t.’

I couldn’t tell him that Mommy can’t really fly

That she can only float

That somebody who could fly

Would be very valuable to a lot of people

But that someone who can float is just…

Well, not much different than somebody who can’t

When he asked me if I was going to volunteer

I said, ‘I don’t know.  I don’t think so.  I wouldn’t want to leave you behind.’

He looked at me and said, ‘Mom, if you can do something

You should do it’

And I thought about it, and…

Maybe my mother wasn’t brave

Maybe she just seemed brave to me

Because I was her kid

And she was my hero, you know?

Maybe bravery isn’t something inside of us

Maybe it’s something other people give us

Maybe it comes from our kids, or our parents

Or the people who need us to be heroes

My son said, ‘You can fly, Mom.’

And I thought, Maybe I can fly

Maybe I’ve always just been too afraid

To see if I could

And maybe it’s time

I find out

We Might Be Heroes: Are You Out There?

The aliens are coming

That’s the first thing you need to know

The aliens

Are

Coming

We know this

We know this for sure

And we’re, obviously, concerned

That they’re coming there to, uh, well, kill us

It just doesn’t seem likely that they’re coming here

To ask for a cup of sugar, you know?

We can see them, clearly, on the satellite

Their ships are very large

And pointy

Very pointy ships

And they’re red

Which is—

You know I can’t remember one movie where the alien spaceships are red

But these are red

And boy, being red really makes them look, uh, scary

So—now, we need a plan

The leaders of the world

Both terrorist and non-terrorist leaders

Have ceased all fighting

And are coming together

To either fight the aliens

Or commit mass suicide

We can see on the satellites that any traditional military effort on our part would be insufficient

They have hundreds—possibly thousands—of red pointy ships

To say that we would be outnumbered would be, uh, well, laughable, really

If the thought of humankind being exterminated is funny to you

Which, I guess, it could be, if you’re morbid, uh—

We in the U.S. have come up with an untraditional, or rather, unconventional

Idea

For fighting the aliens

Superheroes

Now, I know what you’re thinking

Superheroes don’t exist

Well, uh, up until last month

We thought aliens might not exist either

And clearly, we were wrong, so—

Is it possible that we could also be wrong about

Other things?

You see, I—and I’m just speaking for myself here—because, why not?  The world might be ending.  Why bother spinning it?  Uh…

I believe that one action brings about a second and equal reaction

Well, I don’t believe that, that’s just science, or whatever, but—

The point is

If aliens exist, and they’re coming, and they want to hurt us

Then someone has to be able to stop them

And if that someone or someone(s) is a superhero

Then that means that superheros

Have to exist

Now, you might be wondering—

Or saying to yourself—

If they exist

Why don’t we know about them?

And to that I say—Good question

And the only answer I can think of is—

Maybe they’re afraid

Maybe they’re scared that if they came forward

And made themselves, you know, available to the public

That we’d study them for science or something

Or maybe they’re just afraid of the responsibility

But we need them

We need heroes right now

And, I, as an American,

Meaning someone who was raised by television

Believe that if you just talk about something enough

Eventually it will come into being

Like the Zombie Apocalypse or the Full House reboot

So please—

Heroes, if you’re out there

We need you

It’s time

Lindsey the Girl Backstage

Hey Charlotte, could you do me a favor?
Your stuff is kind of all over the dressing room area
Like, specifically, it's all over my part of the dressing room area
So if you could just be aware of that
And, like, you know, respect the sacred space I prepare in
That would be awesome

Oh my God, I'm such a bitch, I know, I'm sorry
Do you hate me?
If you hate me, that's cool
I just thought I'd bring it up to you
In case you didn't realize it

Oh my God, you're the best
I'm the worst
Thank you so much
Oh, don't forget this picture of your dead grandmother
It was touching my iced latte

Chris?  Heyyyyy Chris

I don't know if you realize it
But you've been sort of kind of stepping on my line in that last scene a little bit

I know you're supposed to cut me off
But you're supposed to cut me off after the word 'never'
And not the word 'would'
So, like, I go 'I would never'
And you jump on the space right after 'never'
But you still need to let me say 'never'
And lately, you've been jumping right on 'would'
And I'm just getting really concerned that, like, eventually,
I'm not going to have a line at all
And it's, like, kind of a crucial line
So if you could just take a look at that
I'd really appreciate it

Oh my God, you're amazing in the show by the way
I wish I could just sit offstage and watch you
But if I don't do my yoga poses before every entrance
My energy's all off and the audience totally picks up on it

Love you though!

Katie, can you just take a second before you run on to bow
Because I'm bowing right before you
And I've been noticing that the audience has been taking a few extra seconds
To show their appreciation for me
And so I would appreciate you
Just respecting that bond that's developed there
And not break it apart so quickly, okay?

Thank you so much
We're just doing really sacred work, you know?
And I just want to honor that

Love you so much
Wish I could adopt you
But I live with an abusive aunt, so--

Hey Scott?

I just wanted to let you know that you're pronouncing the word 'paella' wrong
I mean, you'd be saying it correctly if you were just, you know, saying it
But your character is from England, right?
Okay, so, I mean, I've never been to England
And I really don't know anything about the country or the accents
But I have a sneaking suspicion
That the part of the country you're from
Would pronounce the word with an unnecessary 'o' sound
So, that might be something to consider?
Just a thought?

I just really want this entire show to be a collaboration between all of us
So, like, I want to feel free to give you some notes about your performance
And please, please, please if you have any notes on mine
Be sure to write them down and put them in the little box in front of my mirror marked 'Negative Energy'
And after I'm done praying over them
I'll look at them and try and decide if I'm going to report you to the stage manager, okay?

Thanks so much
Love you
Please don't chew your gum so loudly
You're the best!

Well, I guess it's time to go back out onstage
The journey begins again, right?

You guys are awesome
You're like my family
In the sense that I feel like I can say anything to you
And you're going to love me anyway
Because we're stuck together for the next eight weeks
Until you move to Florida and forget to tell me

Love you all!

...And please don't take any of my hangers--thanks!