The Choice to Be Gay

I'm going to tell you a secret.

Being gay--is a choice.

Yup, that's right. You heard it.

Somebody finally admitted it.

It's a choice.

I have made the choice to be gay.

I've made the choice to date the people I'm attracted to
Rather than close my eyes and pretend that one of my girlfriends
Is a hunky guy with extra-soft lips

I've made the choice to hold whichever hand I want to hold
Wherever it is I am
And not worry about whose eyes are noticing

I've made the choice to rid my life of silence
In the face of ignorance

I've made the choice to show my younger siblings
That they can bring all of themselves to the table
And whatever they bring will be valuable

I've made the choice to not be ashamed of the fact
That I'm a sexual being
And to say that sex is not a bad thing
It's just a thing that makes people uncomfortable

As far as shame goes, I've made the choice to wash it away
Along with the marks I put on myself
Before I chose to start taking care of myself

Luckily my marks were magic marker
And they came off fast
And yours probably can too

I made the choice to look at my friends
My real friends
And realize that they would take me
Way before they'd leave me
If I decided to be who I needed to be

I made the choice to tell my family when I was ready
And not let some gay vigilante make me feel bad
For doing what I needed to do
In my own time

I made the choice to be the gay man I wanted to be
Instead of the gay man somebody else wanted me to be
Just so they could fit me on a poster

I made the choice to make mistakes
And not berate myself for them
Five years later

I made the choice to be a stereotype sometimes
And an anomaly at other times

To be catty
To be considerate
To be a fuck-up
TO be a success

To be vulnerable
And masculine
And swish when I walk
And play touch football with my brothers on Thanksgiving
And let my voice rise when I'm angry
And listen to showtunes
And burp the Star Spangled Banner
And read Esquire
And kiss guys

I made all those choices
And I still have choices left to make

That's the key thing

I chose to be who I am
And I choose to accept the fact
That I am a man
Who is changing
And who can change
As a result
Of his choices

But when you decide to let other people
Make choices about who you're going to be for you
You've given up your right to choose
And at that point you're losing everything
But that's a choice too

Don't let determine who you are for you
Or how you should feel about who you are
Or what you should do to change yourself

I made the choice to be gay when I didn't feel like being gay
And to be brave when I didn't feel like being brave
And to be a part-time revolutionary and a part-time dork
And a writer, despite my father wishing I'd go into law
And an actor, despite my mother telling me I'd starve
And the me I needed to be for myself

I made that choice

I made the choice not to wake up at forty or fifty or sixty
And realize my life was a lie
That nobody buys, not even me

So yeah, I make the choice to be gay
But even if I didn't
I would be anyway

The point is to wake up everyday
To just wake up and realize
Each day presented to you
Is filled with the opportunity
To experience, to become, to learn, and to thrive

And if all you can do today is survive
Then just survive
For today

And let tomorrow bring you
Another chance
To choose