This Is Where It Used to Rain

Here's the bench where we broke up
Here's where tears turned up the earth
And I pretended that a train was coming down
I pretended we were both gonna explode
I ran back to my car crying
Acting like I was being chased
And as the memories fell out of tear ducts in my pockets
I pretended I had grace
I pretended I was saved
I pretended it was raining

This is where it used to rain
By the old Paridum Theater
Everyone's got funny stories
About the people that died last year
We have all these savage memories
That we keep inside our chests
Swing from vines and sweeten pots
And fuck like rabbits
Die like hornets
Live like crows that won't go home

All our prose is sidewalk chalk
It got washed out in the rain
No one likes us
No one needs us
No one even knows we're here
And here is where it used to rain

That's my friend beside the deli
Tried to kill me late last year
Found out I was telling stories about him
Left me half-dead
Only half 'cause I'm his friend

That's the club that no one goes to
That's the restaurant where we eat
That's the pizza place where I threw up
Because I showed up drunk
And tried the turkey slice
And Olita rubbed my back
I remember how warm her hands felt
Against the cold November night
I would have stayed drunk and sick forever
To feel her there

This is where it used to rain
On the ball field where we went after the prom
My friend fucked his girl on third base
While she laughed
Me and Olita just sat in the stands
With a blanket around us
And when I asked her to marry me
She said we'd see once the sun came up
And when it did she didn't say
So I guess that was my no

We don't get rain here anymore
Just cool dry disappointment
And the rivers that we dove in
Ran up and drowned us in their heat

Never thought we'd drown in sand

Here's the bench where Olita left me
Caught me stealing time from her
Saw me sucking up her life
And she removed me
With red lipstick and a knife

Now I walk around in disaster movies
Am I the star or just an extra
Do I feel the rain down here
Or does it stop before it reaches me
And that's why I don't see my friends
I only see their faces
As I drive by in buses
That don't stop anywhere
Going home to outskirt laundromats
Trying to plan my great comeback

This is where it used to rain
Watch the clothing in the dryer
Save up change for next November
Try to live inside a snowglobe
Where it's always Christmas
Where it's always happy
Where you're always ten
And all you want is a Nintendo system
And a chance
To start again

Olita's in Toronto
Filming stuff I see on tv
And my Ma says you should've married that girl
And I say no shit, ma, no shit
I don't tell her about the ball park
I'd rather my ma think I missed an opportunity
Then have her think I got turned down
By a girl who could see I was a loser
Even before I thought it
Even before it was true

This is where it used to rain
This is all part of the problem
My clothes are dirty
Or they're too clean
I'm a bastard
Or I'm just mean
I amount to nothing
And nothing around me is even real

Except the sunlight
Bright, brighter than ever