Why Kayla Didn't Get in the Show

I didn't get in the show
Because they couldn't afford me

It's not that I didn't want to do the show
It's just that if you do one benefit for free
The next thing you know
You're never getting paid
And let's face it

Rainbows and sunsets don't come for free, now do they?

I mean, I can tell a few jokes for free

Hey, here's one--

What's blue, and green, and talks like someone from France?

Okay, well you have to pay to hear the rest

I didn't say I was going to tell the WHOLE joke for free

That would be insane

Fine, I'll tell another joke

Cotton swabs

Well, that was the punchline

I figured since you wanted it last time
I'd give you that instead of--

Hey look, I'm not even in the show

I'm just trying to be supportive

I was just sitting back there in my dressing room
Thinking, Why do they keep giving me Pepsi when I specifically asked for Diet Coke?
When I figured it might be nice to pop out here
And let you all know
That I'm not in the show
But that I'm thrilled to be able to be backstage
Helping out by telling everybody what they're doing wrong

Now THAT you can afford