Pregnant in Alaska

Of all the places in the world

To be pregnant

You had to go

Getting pregnant

In Alaska

If I had known

That was where

You were going to

Get yourself knocked up

I would have let you stick around Tilly

And have my grandson

Somewhere sensible

Somewhere warm

Don’t tell me it’s warm in Alaska

I’m not some dumb hick

Just because I didn’t go to college

I know where it’s warm

And where it’s cold

And I know where it’s dark

And I know it’s dark in Alaska

Because that’s where that vampire documentary happened

Your dad’s not stupid, little girl

Tilly might be full of stupid people

But I am not one of them

I can assure you of that

Now your boyfriend on the other hand

He’s some of Tilly’s finest stupid

Dragging you halfway across the world

Just so you two can prove a point

I'm not saying I don’t like him

I like him just fine

Despite his stupidity

And his inability to hold down a job

Or do anything other than

Steal my daughter from me

And move her to Snowman Land

He reminds me of me in a way

Your grandfather hated me, you know

He thought I was the devil incarnate

And back then

I very much was

But even I didn’t go taking your mother

To Siberia

Two streets over

From where we both grew up

Was far enough for me

Your grandmother used to bitch

Every time I’d call her

To come by and change a diaper

So I could give your momma a break
While I watched The Price is Right

I was a lot of things

But inconsiderate

Wasn’t one of ‘em

You want to know a secret?

Your momma says you ain’t even in Alaska

She says you’re somewhere else

And I’m just telling myself it’s Alaska

Because you won’t call

And tell me

Where you really are

She says I gotta stop sitting by the window

And looking at my phone

And checking the mail

Like you’d send me a letter

When nobody does that anymore

Your momma says I brought this all on myself

By having old-fashioned ideas

About fathers and daughters

And talking about women

Like they’re property

Instead of human beings

Who fall in love

And have babies

And make the same mistakes

Everybody makes

She says if I had been more modern

You’d still be here

Instead of god-knows-where

And I tell her it ain’t god-knows-where

It’s Alaska

My baby’s in Alaska

Getting ready

To have her own baby

And privately

In my own thoughts

I tell myself

You’re not doing so bad

I picture you

In a little house

With a fireplace

And a nice window

Looking out at a little town

With a diner

And a coffeeshop

And some places to buy books

And furniture

I picture that boy of yours

Out working on a fishing boat or something

Making some money

Even if it’s not a lot

I think about you

Going to bed every night

With a smile on your face

While those pretty blue lights

Hang out in the sky

And the baby gives you a little kick

To know it’s there

And that it’s doing just fine

And maybe you think

About me and your momma

And all the folks in Tilly

Or maybe you don’t

But either way

You’re doing all right

Pregnant in Alaska

But doing all right

That’s all I think about nowadays

I can’t seem to think about

Anything else