Andrew Yang

I try to go over there

But my aunt jumps down your throat

If you’re not for Warren

And my uncle is for Biden

And my cousins are split

But I’m for Yang

And I’m, like, fringe

Even though they have no idea

Why I’m fringe

They always boil it down to--

Because he’s going to give you

Free money

Which is just the Cliff Notes version

They’ll all talk about

How unfair the media treats people

But the media labels people fringe

And then everybody’s relieved

Because it means

There’s one less person

They have to research

That’s all they want the media for

To tell them who to take seriously

As a candidate

And who not to take seriously

And that’s after 2016

When the media was telling us

Not to take someone seriously

While

At the same time

Giving that person endless coverage

But like

I guess

For the entertainment value?

Because they were like--

He’s a joke

But here’s forty-eight

Continuous hours of him

Just so you know

I researched Warren

I researched Biden

I did my homework

On Sanders and Pete

And all these people

And I decided the one I was pulling for

Was Yang

And I know

I know

That nobody else I know

Did that kind of homework

But I still get judged

Because I--

I guess I didn’t land on

The acceptable conclusion

And the other day

Some girl online was like--

Sell me on Yang

Sell you on my candidate?

Fuck you

Like, that’s not my job

That’s your job

To research or not research

And I don’t care

If you do research

Or if you don’t want

To do research

But don’t tell me

To do the hard part for you

It’s your vote

And how nuts would I have to be

To try to sell you

On a candidate

You’ve already decided

You’re never going to vote for?

Let’s just call it

Most of these people

Knew exactly who

They were going to vote for

Before we even got to the primaries

And now they’re acting

Like they’re so open-minded

When the reality is

If someone came out of the blue

And you hadn’t heard of them

And the media

The news

Was like--

This person is a joke

You’re going to listen to that

Or at least

You’re going to be influenced by it

And if you talk about

What it takes

To get somebody

To go from their candidate

To another candidate

I mean, it’s just--

It’s impossible

So I just keep my opinion

To myself

And then when I go in the voting booth

I pick who I want

And you know

You all better be careful

Because you might think you know

How things are going to shake out

But not everybody

Talks to pollsters

And not everybody is screaming

About who they’re supporting

And people can still surprise me

It always shocks me

How people underestimate

How easy it still is

To have somebody

Surprise you