This Flight Tonight

Scott’s not talking to me

Because I told him

We weren’t covering Joni Mitchell

Nazareth already did a version

Of ‘This Flight Tonight’

And that’s one more version

Than was called for

It’s not that I don’t like Scott’s ideas

But I am not interested

In being a cover band

And he finds Canada

Much too inspirational

For my taste

Last night he threw some french fries

At my head

And then cried in the bathroom

For three hours

And that was before

He almost died from doing

Too much coke

So this artistic relationship

Does not seem to be going

In a positive direction

But I booked him first class

And me too

Because we needed a treat

Even though the money’s not there

Because our first agent

Was a lying, thieving cocksucker

At this rate

We’re going to have to send

Our skeletons on tour

If we ever want to see

Black ink again

Scott’s excited for Vegas

For a residency

But I look down

And I see my death

Amid all those twinkling lights

‘You’ll know your demise

When you see it,’

My father used to say,

‘And it starts beneath you

Then rises up’

Always thought the old man was crazy

But now I see what he means

Death you see from above

And so you feel superior to it

But now it’s twenty minutes

Until we land in Nevada

And the lower we go

The more I want to rip Scott

Out of his very comfortable seat

And beat the shit out of him

For asking me to join a band

In the first place

I was fixing cars

And now I have three hit albums

Two ex-wives

And a drinking problem

I can’t seem to kick

And he wants us to play Joni Mitchell

What about a forty-year-old man

From Sussex

With a tattoo across his chest that says--

Your Mom Gives Great Head

What about that

Screams--

Joni Mitchell

But he likes ‘This Flight Tonight’
And I don’t feel like hearing him bitch

So we’ll rehearse it

When we get to the venue

And we’ll put in the show tonight

And it’ll be awkward as all hell

But it’ll make Scott feel like an artist

And that’ll keep him quiet

For two hours

Before he finds something else

To cry about

When the plane lands

I want it to shoot right off the runway

I don’t want to die

And I don’t want anyone else to die

But I want it to go lower

If it’s going to go low

If death’s going to rise up

From beneath me

I want it to rise fast

And hot

And I never want

To see it

Coming