I Guess I Am That Type of Girl

-- This is Jen's title suggestion. --

" I Guess I Am That Type of Girl"

I guess I am
I guess I am that type of girl
I guess I like clothing
That shows too much
And the touch of a man
Before the eighth date
Cause it might be too late
By then he might be on
To other girls who don't make him wait
And maybe I wasn't looking
For a soul mate or a husband
Perhaps he came home with me
Because his pedigree was satisfactory to me

Really
Who can say?

I guess I am the constant shopper
A name dropper when I need to prove my point
I guess I can be quite the snob
And rob you of your feeling of belonging
When you're sneering at me from across the room
Trying to groom yourself
To not look like a hooker who strolled into this bar
Did you valet your car
At the bike rack outside?

I'm not one to put down
But this town is for women
Not girls from Fitzsimmons who took the train in
So they could start training themselves
To marry-rich-and-ditch the up-and-coming trial lawyers
Who frequent the foyers at parties I throw
So maybe I am one to put down
If you try climbing up
Without thanking the hand
That landed you on the ladder
In the first place
I guess I am

I guess I am that type of bitch
Who hitches herself to her best option
Adopting the whispering gossip
As my background music
I guess I am the town slut
Shutting down opinions
By confirming what they thought they knew

Yes, I did
Yes, I liked it
Yes, I'd do it again

But make no mistake, sweetie
This is my playground
I get to swing
For much longer than you do
Because I brought the swings
And the jungle gym too

I made the boys men
So I can play with them
Until they're tired
Then send them to your house
After they've perspired
So they can nap next to you
And you can call it 'cuddling'
Quite befuddling to me
How you can parade around
Second-hand boyfriends
Passing them off as lost gems

Sweetie, I was the one who lost them
And I hoped they wouldn't be found
Wait till their open their mouths
You'll put them down too
Or maybe you won't
Because who would you do better with?

I didn't think I was the type
To say all these nasty things to you
I didn't think I was infantile
Meanwhile I heard you saying
That I was a dressed up whore
Then hearing anymore
Seemed difficult

You say I make the rules
Then break the rules
And make everyone else play the same
I was game for challenging you on that
But then it hit me
You were right

That doesn't mean you're not being shunned
The sun will explode before you're invited
To anything worth going to
Here or nearby here
Every door has shut to you now, sweetie
So be on your way
Before the town slut has more to say

I didn't think it would be this easy
To exile someone
And watch them go poorly
Begging forgiveness
I thought I'd give in
I thought I was good-natured
Filled with compassion
And unending mercy

But alas, sweetie
I guess I'm not that type of girl