If I Don't Change Myself

-- This is as straight-forward as I get. --

"If I Don't Change Myself"

If I don't change myself
There's no point in asking
More from myself
When I've put limits on my capabilities
My utilities seem boundless
But they're useless
When kept at bay
By pointless fears
That sway, then strike
When others point out
That failure is a possibility

If I don't change myself
I can't make an impact
On anything or anyone
For what would I have to offer
When all I've ever done
Is deconstruct, criticize
Demonize, and destroy
Anything I wished I had done
Rather than reach out a hand
And offer to understand another point of view
Collaborate on something new
That I could be a part of too
Instead of making art
A competition where everyone loses

If I don't change myself
Asking for acceptance
Is a tall order many won't fill
And why should they
Accept things about me
I know aren't acceptable
Flaws that could be easily remedied
If I didn't use my remaly
As an excuse to be who I want to be
When who that is
Is a life my father lived
And unsuccessfully

Why do I insist on repeating past mistakes
And not even my mistakes
But mistakes made by those
Who made them to teach me
That I could do better than my genetics
I can't change prophetic vision
Though my indecision
Is not something that can be blamed
On my given surname
For that lives with me
And unsuccessfully

If I don't change myself
What kind of future can I expect
When I reject all opportunities
Aspects of plans that could bring me
Cosmic goodwill and prosperity
If I can't stop the nail-biting
Fighting and gossip
Worrying and waffling
What can I hope for
Or hope for in others?

If I don't change myself
I can stay on this path
But I'm starting to see
That it doesn't go anywhere
And it leads back to me