The Startled Woman

-- I saw the painting 'The Started Woman' and thought the title was too good to pass up. --

"The Startled Woman"

Back
Back, I say
Get back
I can hold you back
With sheer force of will
I can keep you at bay
If I don't take my eyes off you

Get back
Get back now
Go somewhere else
Where luck has lived
These past many years
Where nobody's wept
And nobody's died
And nothing's been broken

Go visit a house
With a multitude of children
Down by a waterfall
Perhaps
Or a bubbling stream
Where life is always present
And joy is bountiful

Haunt me not
Have I not been
Dragged over sorrow
So many times
The cuts on my body
Are shaped like soldier's tears?

I came here today
To kneel at the foot of Dionysus
So that his happiness
Would fall into me
Whether by his own will
Or the shifting fate
Of a woman
Who has clenched her fists
Around her own destiny
Determined that it will change

And it will change

I am here to beg
Like a common fool
On my knees
I am here
And I can see you
I can see you death
Waiting for me
Waiting to take another
From my miserable life
Where I have so little left
What more do you require?

My sight?
My hands?
My sanity?

Back
Back
Back

Dionysus
I beg you
Keep him at bay
Keep that dark sorcerer
That lingers in shadows
Locked in that dark embrace

Keep him away from me
Your dedicated minion
I know I have chided you in the past
Worshiped other gods
That I thought would do me better
Gods of productivity and chastity
Gods of harvest and fertility
But now
But now I see
The value of your gift
The destitution of a life
Lived like mine

Where the harvest comes in
But you can't taste the fruit
Where you have children
That leave you
And never return
Where you produce sterile things
And where chastity has you shunned
By those who you've judged
And don't you know
You end up judging them all
Making you the loneliest jury

Help me
Help a startled woman
Help me keep the blurred edges
From seeping into the center of my vision
And let me go back home
Without having that hatred follow me
Let me have sanctity
In my final years

Oh, he's there
I see him
I see lurking
Ready to strike

Please
Please let me stay here
Let down my hair
And close my eyes
Knowing you'll protect me
When he turns himself into wind
And blows on my old back
Making it hard and cold

I'll let you warm me
And when he tries
To take more from me
I will let you stand in his way
And hope that you forgive me
A poor old woman
And let me rest
Here in your arms