Three Years Clean

Three years clean

And she’s going on about

What I used to do

You know, I had that feeling

I had that feeling

She was going to drag up the past

And make me feel shitty about it

Polly’s got a problem

That’s what I used to say about her

Polly’s gotta something to say

And she’d hate that

Because Polly isn’t her name

And because she said

I was the one

Who had something to say

She said I was the one

With a problem

But I’m still here

Just like I was

All the years ago, right?

Three years

Feels like fifteen fucking minutes

These days

--But I’ll tell you something

It’s enough to kill you

If you’re not careful

It’s enough to put you right in the ground

And not bat an eye

If you have a problem

If you really have a problem

You think I’d still be sitting here

Three years after they carted her off

Kicking and screaming like a lunatic

Saying stuff about Mike

My Mike--talking about him

Like he was some kind of animal

And all the while

It was her

And her problems

And Mike and me?
We were just being nice to her

Trying to help her along

He told me

He thought she’d never make it back here
And it’s a terrible thing to say

Because she’s my niece and I love her

But I agreed with him

When I saw her get carried out that door

I thought--Well, that’s it

I lost my sister

And I lost my mother

And now my niece is gone too

And to tell you the truth

Shit, where’s my purse?
Did you see my purse?
I put it right--

Okay, here it is

To tell you the truth

I made peace with it

I did

Because what the hell else

Are you gonna do?

Cry about it

Every year

Except for Christmas

That shit don’t fly

Not in my house

Not with Mike around

Wanting things to be jolly

All the time

It’s like living with Kris Fucking Kringle

But trust me

If I had a problem
Or if he had a problem

She wouldn’t be coming back here

Three years later

To find us

Living just exactly like we were before

Without any trouble between us

Hell, Mike even offered

To throw her a barbecue at the house

To celebrate the fact that she wasn’t

Six fucking feet under

You know what I mean?

And she says she can’t be around us

Because of what I did

And what he did

--Now what did he do?
That’s what I asked her

What

Did

He

Do

And she wouldn’t tell me

No surprise there, right?
But she wouldn’t say a word

Because there was nothing to say

You know, they might have washed the addiction

Out of that girl

But the sin is still there

Oh, it’s there in spades

You can’t wash that out

Not in three years

Hell, not in a lifetime

Her mother died with it

And so did mine

And somehow

--And I don’t know how, but somehow--

It just skipped over me

It just jumped right over me

And I’m grateful

I really am

Because when you got bad in you like that

It’s gonna be with you

For a long, long time