Wrestling, Now

You’ll make your entrance

And let the crowd

Do your chant

Give ‘em a minute or two

They like doing it

You’ve got one

Of the good chants

When they’re done

Call out Nightfinger

About what happened

At Tumbleweed

And then just when things

Start to get heated

Run down to the ring

Get right up in his face

And kiss him smack

On the lips

What?

Oh no, no

You’re not going to fight him

No

We’re going in a different direction

With your character

And with Nightfinger

You two

We’re taking you in another--

We’re not necessarily saying you’re--

It’s something you two

Are going to figure out

Between now

And Body Slam

In October

You’re going to struggle with it

Maybe get some counseling

Talk to your respective families

Move in together for a little while

Then--

Well, it’s not you

It’s your character

Nobody’s saying that you’re--

I’m not saying you would have a problem with it

But if you did

You shouldn’t

Because this is all--

It’s a storyline

Just like any other--

Yeah, you’re going to be wrestling

Don’t be ridiculous

You’re a wrestler

You’re going to be wrestling your demons

You’re going to be wrestling with your feelings

You’re going to be wrestling with love

What’s better than that?

And it’s all building up

To you and Nightfinger

Getting married in the ring

At Blood Feast in February

Right near Valentine’s Day

Gonna be great

The fans?

The fans are going to love it

They’ve been watching guys

Roll around on a mat with each other

Wearing nothing but briefs

For years

This is giving them

Exactly

What they want

And we’re putting a little

Feeling

Behind it too

Really making it into--

Just wait until you two

Ride off on horseback together

Into the sunset

After your tag-team match

Against Fido and Blueball

We’re talking romance

We’re talking soul

We’re talking happily ever after

And from that point on it’s--

Do we want to buy or rent?

Should we have kids?

Did you forget our anniversary?

It’s just like life

Except every so often

When Nightfinger forgets

To take out the trash

You pile drive him

This is wrestling, now

This is how we break ground

This is the future

In the present

Right in the middle of that ring

With you slipping your tongue

Into the hole

Where Nightfinger’s two front teeth

Used to be

And maybe one day

Years from now

You two can wrestle your grandkids

In a Family Only match

That’ll end with you being airlifted

Out of the arena

On a stretcher

Because your little granddaughter

Sent you flying through a table

Decorated for Thanksgiving

People want to see real, right?

Well, what could be more real

Than that?