Brace Yourself

-- I'm doing this on a dare --

Hold on, rollercoaster
Coming closer to a picture
Old faded memory frame
Game over in Dover
Delaware, couldn't care less
How I messed up and wound up here
Stuck with some queer in a pancake mixture
A fixer-upper turned taking uppers
Out of rubbers and clubbers
Telling me to go out
About town and run down
Hearing 'em say

Brace yourself
Better brace yourself
Place yourself in the shoes
Of someone who can't lose
More than you
You took all your eggs
Put 'em up on a shelf

Brace yourself
You better brace yourself

I gotta four-mile trek
Directing myself into
A dented pinto
With a girl named Anna Maria
That I call a saint
Body-paint on hands
Glands swollen from shouting
Touting myself
As the new shah of the party

I got an old guitar
And a sitar to sit on
Donning a cape
That some douchebag
Just spit on
My girlfriend, he hit on
Took off like a hit and run
Gun left in the backseat
It's novelty one
That pops out the words--

Brace yourself
You better pace yourself
You been drinking all night
And you can't chase yourself
Over and over
Till you're run out of Dover
Eating stovetop from Stouffer's
Trying to run down a rover

I wake up in Tallahassee
Man I can see me
Being bigger than Nietzche
Man, can't you see me
Damn, I can see me
Starring in Sondheim
Online viral videos
Singing Su-Su-Sudio
In the studio as my cover
Banging my lover
On the track list
Pack it up and miss this
Before I'm even gone
Long time coming
Since I heard that song
The song called--

Brace yourself
You better brace yourself
You know you can't win
When you race yourself
To the bottom of the barrel
To the top of the charts

And when you look down
You frown
Cause you're back
Where you started