When You Can Call Me

-- I found this in my Livejournal. It's from a few years back, but I like it. So here it is. --

"When You Can Call Me"

You can call me
When you learn
When you learn how to dial a phone
When you learn how to leave a message
Where you introduce yourself
Rather than assume
I know
Who you are

When you learn to speak properly
When you learn grammar
When you learn diction
When you learn not to refer to me
As 'kid'
As 'bro'
As 'you'

'Hey you'

You can call
When you learn my name

You can call me when you stop
Stop thinking of your psychological problems
As preferences

Liking men old enough to be your father
Is not a 'preference' it's a problem
Liking boys who were born post-millennium
Is not a 'preference' it's a problem

Being a gold-digger
Being a stereotype
Being ignorant

They're not personality traits
They're problems

I don't need you to fix your problems
I just need you to call them problems
Call them before you call me

Okay?

You can call me when you've finished a book
Any book, whatever it is, then call me
You can call me when you have something to say
Rather than just 'Okay, well...what's up?'

I'm up for a conversation
I'm up for stimulation
I'm up for anything
Other than a long line
Of sexual innuendos
Crescendoing into silence
Or an invitation to hook up

So when you're ready
Give me a call
But by then
You may be going
To voicemail