Hold the Kitten

Leo, you have to hold the kitten
Hold it up to the light
Like in 'The Lion King'
Remember?
Remember how he held up the baby lion?
That's how you have to hold up Cha-Cha

Okay?

Hold him up
Stay like that
Freeze!

GREAT!

Mama got the shot
That's how we do it
That's how we get the shot

Now this time
I want you to hold him
Like a little baby
Just like a little baby
And you're it's Daddy
And we don't know where it's Mommy is
Because maybe she left
Because she didn't really want a baby
Because she had a kitten
And not a real baby

Who knows?

Cradle the kitten
Cradle it
Don't worry
It's not going to--

Okay
Well
If you had been cradling it
It wouldn't have scratched you
Right?
Riiiiight?
That's right

Mama's gotta get this calendar done
Before the month is over
Or we can all kiss that trip to Canopy Lake
Gooooood-bye

So let's try and be professional, okay?
I let you stay home from kindergarten to do this
So I expect a little bit more gratitude
And a better work ethic
Okay?

Okay

Cassie?
Do you have your sunflower head on yet?
Well put it on!

Honey, it's not too small
Your head's just gotten bigger
Since we did last year's calendar
I told you not to eat so much
Your head was already too big for your body
Now you look like a Peanuts character

Put the head on
And get Josie ready
To go into the giant teacup
Or I'll be shooting this thing
Until midnight

Leo, don't let the kitten escape
If he claws you a little
I'll get you a band-aid
But you CANNOT let him go

Try to lay him on his stomach
He'll look cuter that way

CASSIE!

That sunflower head looks ridiculous
I know you're not a baby anymore
But can't you work it a little bit?
Maybe we can go a different route
Stick your tongue out a little
Like you know you look stupid
And you don't care

No, No, No

They'll hate that
They will
They'll hate it
Then my reputation will be marred

Nobody wants a calendar
Where every month
Is a photo of a girl
With her giant head
Stuck in a different flower

Josie, honey
Stay in the teacup
Until Mama shoots you

Cassie, how warm is that water?
Did you warm it up
Before you put her in there?

NO, DON'T PUT IT ON THE STOVE!

It's not a real teacup
It's a prop
Remember when I explained to you about--

Leo?
LEO!
Where's the kitten?

GO FIND THE KITTEN!

Goddamit!
I am sick of working with amateurs
From now on, I'm stick with puppies
Puppies and nature shots

Cassie
Take off that sunflower
And go stand on the hill
I'll get a shot of you
In front of the sunset

That'll at least be something
Then maybe today
Won't have been
A total waste