Furniture

Don't sit on that sofa
That's my sofa
I sit there
I sit there on Tuesdays
Right after lunch
That's my Tuesday sofa
Those cushions are perfectly adjusted
So don't sit there

Do you like that bookcase?
It's premium oak
A nice oak bookcase
Like the kind
They don't make anymore

What?

No, it's not for sale
Are you crazy?
Didn't you just hear me?
That's premium oak

What?

I don't put books on it
Because I don't want
The shelves to collapse
Thereby ruining the bookcase
That's why there are no books
That's premium oak!

It's like I'm talking to myself

You thought this was a furniture store
Didn't you?
I thought maybe you were a visitor
But then again
I never get visitors
So who knows why I thought that

It used to be a furniture store
But then I decided
That I didn't need money
And I liked the furniture
So why sell it?

Besides
It's cozy

On Mondays I eat breakfast
On the Monday Dining Table
Although I don't have utensils
So I use chopsticks
That I made
From whittled down
Coffee table legs

The coffee table broke
When I tripped and fell on it
It was a tragedy
But something good
Should come of it

Then on Tuesdays
I sit on the Tuesday sofa
With my copy of 'Peyton Place'

Wednesdays are spent
In the far right corner
On the blue living room set

Thursdays I read
On the nice oak desk
Premium oak

Sometimes I write letters
To Herbert Hoover
About the state of the economy
And sometimes I ask
Why they canceled 'Petticoat Junction'

Fridays I sleep
Because I'm usually exhausted
And I have so many nice beds to choose from
No water beds though
I'm not running a crab shack

It's not the most exciting life
I'll give you that
But it's nice to be able to sit down
And rest your bones
Surrounded by nice things

I have mirrors everywhere
So it always feels like
There's people here
Even if they all look like me
And even if some of them
Could use a dye job

And every once in awhile
I get a visitor like you
Who usually stays for a few hours
Mostly because they can't find their way
Once they wander into the chaise section

That's enough excitement for me
That's all I need
To keep me going