Falling Down Drunk But You Can't Even Drown

You know what the sad part is?

I can’t even drown

You ever been that way?

Falling down drunk

But you can’t even drown?

I’d love to drown

Deep end of the pool

And just—

Bam

Down to the bottom

Can’t float

Can’t swim
Just laying there
Waiting for winter to come
So it can freeze over on you

Doesn’t that sound nice?

But I gotta stand up

I gotta stand up
And stretch

And pretend I’m okay

You ever have to pretend you’re okay

And all you wanna do is shout—

I’M NOT OKAY

Ha

I haven’t been okay

Since I knew what not okay was

Since then I’ve just been stumbling

Not falling
Not dropping

Not catching anybody’s eye

Just bouncing here and there

Wondering how stupid you look

I wish I could be graceful

That’s the one thing

I do wish

Even when I wasn’t a fuck-up

I was still a klutz

Bumping into shit

Forgetting where I put things
Losing everything anybody ever gave to me

When I became a drunk

I thought—

Well, at least now I have an excuse

To be this way

At least now it makes sense

Me being who I am

You ever find a problem so good

You just settle in
And let it fuck with you?

You ever find a way of being that—

Even if it’s bad

You go—

Yeah, that’s me

That’s who I am

That’s what happened to me

I found something that could kill me

And I thought--

Fine

Let it kill me

But it hasn’t done it yet

Keep wondering what the hold-up is

Didn’t expect

To have to wait this long

All this water

And nowhere to drown

Plenty to drink though

Hell yeah

Always plenty

To drink