Puzzles, or Divorce

We can do puzzles
Or we can get divorced

Those are the choices--

Puzzles, or divorce

Personally

I’d prefer the puzzles

They’re good for the brain

And they don’t require a lawyer

They won’t financially bankrupt us

They won’t make our children hate us

Puzzles

We should do puzzles

I bought one that has a fir tree on it

The tree is a fir

It doesn’t have fur on it
I just wanted to be clear about that

I bought one with puppies

Everybody loves puppies
You don't
But everybody else does
Which is why you don't
Which is what makes you an asshole
But anyway--

I bought a puzzle

With that woman on it

You know
The woman with the piercing eyes
From National Geographic?

That’s a good one

It’ll take us years to do that one

Years

That’s the important part

Time

It’ll take lots and lots of time to—

You know

Do all these

And once we’re done

One of us will be dead

And that’ll be fun too

Well…

For the one who’s not dead

I bet you’ll die first

I can’t be sure

But I bet you will

The puzzles will help

They’re very stressful
And you don’t do well with stress

You have that bad heart

And that blood sugar
And that weird ear
And that low sex drive

So you can’t be long for this world

And who wants to spend

Their last—hopefully few—
Years on earth
Going through a divorce?

Not me

And not you
--Hopefully

So, let’s just do the puzzles

We can start with the puppies

Don’t you think that’s a good idea?

We should have gotten a puppy

Maybe that would have helped things

Instead we got the kids

And they just made things worse

Oh well

They’ll be grown up one day

And they’ll be glad we stayed together

Our parents did puzzles, they’ll say,

That was the trick

That was what kept them together