Men in Other Cities

He took the keys
And I haven’t seen him since

I’m not going to fight

I’m not going to, ha

Get in a fight

With a man
Some man

Who I just met

At a bar

That would be--

He was, haha, going on

I wasn’t really paying attention
You know
To tell you the truth
I wasn't paying a lick of attention
To him

I mean, it's a hotel

You don’t pay attention

When a drunk guy sits down next to you
And buys you a few drinks

That’s not your job

I have a job

That’s not my job

I’ve met men like him before

Men in other cities

This one has a tie--

Oh, guess how much my tie costs?

I don’t fucking know

How much your tie costs

It's a tie

I mean, Jesus Christ

Somebody

Is telling men everywhere

That the key to a woman’s heart

Is a three-piece suit

And half a smile

And it’s, god, it’s really sad

Now you--

You’re young

You’re from--where?

Indiana?

Fuck, that’s fantastic

I fucking love--

Sorry, my language

I know
It's jarring
It's jarring for a man your age
To hear a woman my age
Use language like that
But my mouth's been dirty for a long time
And it's not getting cleaned up anytime soon
I can tell you that

I love that you’re from the--oh my god--the Midwest

That is priceless

Indiana is the Midwest, right?

Close enough either way

Is that why you’re so polite?

I don’t know anybody your age, you know

Twenty-one is--

I mean, Jesus Christ
Hahaha

You might as well be from another Universe

And you don’t need to wear a tie

You probably don’t even own a tie

And I love that

I really do

I used to have a whole pack of twenty-one year-old’s at my disposal, you know

But, uh, haha, you get a little older

Then you get a little more older

Then you get even older than that

And pretty soon only the gray-haired men

With the G&T addictions want anything to do with you

I was supposed to go off

And become a trophy wife

To one of those men who--

Well...

One of those men who leave bars

When they shouldn’t be driving

And tells you their whole life story

Like you’re supposed to give a damn

Just because you’re a woman

Who can hear the nonsense

Plummeting out of his mouth
You're supposed to...

Hahaha

I have men like that everywhere--

Boston

Toronto

Chicago

Even London

I found boring men
In London
Do you believe that? Must be a real talent
I have

So there is no chance of me
Getting some kind of magical ending
To my life

No opportunity on the horizon
For salvation
From some white knight
Or shining prince

And uh, I’ve smoked enough cigarettes to know

That I’m probably going to wind up

Chained to an oxygen tank some day

Nobody to take care of me

Nobody to see that I’m, uh

That I’m taken care of

Then you come along

And you’ve got a nice

Big

Full

Smile

Nothing half about you, huh?

It’s great

Truly

It is great

But here's what I know--

And now I'm just going to say it
Because why beat around the bush? You're going to fall in love with me

Younger men

It’s--

It’s what they do

They fall for women
Old enough

To be their--

Well, their older sister, let’s say

Or maybe a young aunt

But are you gonna stop me

From going

To all those other cities?

Boarding all those…

Long flights?

You think we’re gonna be pen pals?

Are you even old enough

To know

What a pen pal is?

Jesus Christ

I’m gonna--

You know what I’m gonna do?

I’m gonna wipe off

Half my lipstick

Put out my cigarette

Pay my tab

And head on up to my room

Now--

You can meet me there

--It’s Room 503, by the way--

Or you can stay here On that little bar stool of yours

But if you come up

You’re only getting

Half a smile from me, see?

Not the full--uh, haha
Not the full thing

Nope

No
No
No

Half
Just half

Half a smile
And my full attention
For the remainder of the evening
And only
The evening

Not the morning
Not the morning after that
Just this evening
If you do, uh
If you do come up

Ha

That’s it

That’s it, kid

That’s all I’ve got

To give