If There's a Ghost Here

--  Influence #15:  Ghosts  --

"If There's a Ghost Here"

If there's a ghost here

He can stay here

He don't have to go nowhere

I'm not scared

I'm not scared of ghosts

I ain't afraid of no--

Oh

You heard that before

Sure, that's okay

I'll just make some eggs

Let me know if you want any

If there's a ghost here

I hope he's handsome

I hope he's damn handsome

Because if I gotta live with a man

He might as well

Be a handsome man

Dead or not

No reason not to be handsome

I'm not above

Falling in love with a dead man

I fell in love with Swede

And he needed heart paddles

Every once in awhile

Not a laid back style

But more like a stuffed dog

Bug on a log

Couldn't be moved

To make love or fall in love

So I kept making eggs

And begging for attention

Till I got too tired to care

You listening to me?

You here?

I been here a long time

And I'm fine where I am

I don't give a damn

If you move spoons

Throw shit across the room

Groom my dog

Or scare the cat

That don't bother me

If there's a ghost here

I hope he'll sit

And have coffee with me

Been a long time

Since I sat and had coffee

With a nice friend

And since you're here

You might as well be pleasant

Plant yourself at the table

Let me talk for a bit

I don't got too much shit to say

But I'll talk anyway

Just cause it relaxes me

You'll get to like me

You'll see

So if there's a ghost here

Dear, you can stay

I'm going to bed

I'm tired

Been working all day

But it's nice to know you're here

Been needin' someone

Since Swede had to run

Used to just have the ghost of Swede

A secondhand ghost

That I didn't need

But now I got you

And you'll do

You'll do just fine

Plus you're all mine

My very own ghost

Don't that sound nice?

Well, if there's a ghost here

Goodnight