"On Bullying"
Here's what I have to say
About what to do
When you're being bullied
Some would tell you
That fighting back is appropriate
I agree
But little nephew
If you're like me
Then fighting back
Will not only stop the bullying
It will give the bullies more material
When your uncle fought back
It was a little like watching a chicken
Running away from a farmer
With a cleaver in his hand
You knew who was going to win
And who was going to wind up in soup
So what do you do?
Here's my suggestion
It's called...
The Machiavellian Approach
I don't know
If it's actually Machiavellian
But it sounds good
Doesn't it?
When you're being bullied
Tell the bully
That you're dying
Say 'Hey, must be real funny picking on a DYING kid'
If he doesn't believe you
Cough and clutch your arm
Then fall to the ground
And spit a lot
When he runs away
Get up
Dust yourself off
And smile
You've won
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