People I Can Ridicule

-- My mother always told me "Don't ever act like you're better than anybody.  You're the same as everyone."  My aunt, who I love, then took me aside and said, "Don't listen to your mother.  You're better than people.  You're better than skinheads.  You're better than KKK members.  You're better than stupid people.  Yes, you are better than some people."  I've always remembered that, but I've also kept in mind my mother's point of view.  After recent events, I've wondered to myself, who do I really feel I can make fun of?  Of everyone I know, I'm probably the LAST person who should stand in judgment of anyone, but if I had to make a list of people I felt I could make fun of and not feel bad about it, who would be on that list?  Since this is going in the Fiction blog, I decided to come at this from a character point of view.  I'll let Jackson speak for me, he is my evil twin after all. --

"People I Can Ridicule"

People who buy US Weekly

I'm not talking about people who read US Weekly

Or who scan it at the supermarket

I'm talking about people

Who actually spend money

On US Weekly

It doesn't mean I can't love 'em

But I can make fun of 'em

People who say 'Age is just a number'

Do you know when you say 'Age is just a number?'

When you're dating someone young enough to be your child

Or when you have caretaker issues

That you're coping with

By dating someone old enough to be your parent

All the rest of us feel

That age is, in fact

Not just a number

It doesn't mean I don't love you

It just means I can make fun of you

People who bring up the greater problems in the world

I'm aware there's global warming

I'm aware that there are war-torn countries

I'm aware that orphans are being sold into slave trades

And that North Korea is being run

By a stock character from Dr. Strangeglove

But sometimes

I still want to bitch

About my boss

Okay?

It doesn't mean I don't know

It doesn't mean I'm not aware

It doesn't mean I'm all about me

It just means I can't always deal

People who don't smile

Why can't you smile?

Would it kill you?

The second you smile

You instantly become more attractive

Even if you have busted teeth

Take it from me

I have busted teeth

And I still smile

You don't have to be happy

But smiling says to the world

I am a person who can be approached

And talked to

And communicated with

And friendly

Sneering and rolling your eyes?

Not so much

So smile

And if you don't

I'm going to make fun of you

In a light-hearted way

In an attempt to get you to smile

Just poking fun

And if that doesn't work

I'll give it up

And that'll be the end of it

Deal?

People who huddle around their group of friends

As if leaving an opening

Would allow for a new person to enter

And perhaps disrupt the utopia

That is a clique

People who act like they never left high school

People who equate looks with talent

People who say 'I don't read' and say it in a proud voice

People who can't say something

And stand behind it

With a name

Oh, and Anonymous

Is not a name

And to be fair

To make the ground even

I'll give you some ammunition

If you want to return the favor

I'm a nail-biter

I'm a fashion mess

I'm a gossip fiend

I'm a pop culture junkie

I'm a rehabilitating hypocrite

I'm a goofball

I'm loud

I'm stubborn

I'm blunt

And at times

I can be a downright asshole

But I can laugh at myself

When I'm ridiculed

The question is

Can you?