At the Top

            (AVA and BRIAN are sitting on a Ferris Wheel.)

BRIAN:  I’m sure somebody will be here to get us any minute.

AVA:  Remember in Zombieland when they got trapped on the Ferris Wheel.

BRIAN:  Well, that was stupid of them.  There were zombies.  There aren’t any zombies here.  It’s just a regular Apocalypse.

AVA:  Still, I don’t think getting on a Ferris Wheel was a great idea.

BRIAN:  I thought it would be romantic.  I gave the guy twenty bucks.  I didn’t know he was just going to take off.  That’s sadistic.  Why would you do that?

AVA:  Because you’re a junkie who runs when he hears police sirens?

BRIAN:  He has the flu, he’s not a junkie.

AVA:  When a carnie tells you he has the flu, it means he’s a junkie.

BRIAN:  You’re so judgmental.

AVA:  We’re going to starve to death on a Ferris Wheel unless we lose our minds first and just decide to jump and end it all.  And this is all because of you.  Call that judgmental if you want, it’s not what I call it.

BRIAN:  What do you call it?

AVA:  I call it you’re an idiot.

BRIAN:  This is where we met.

AVA:  This is not where we met.

BRIAN:  We met at a carnival.

AVA:  In Montana.

BRIAN:  Well, all the planes are delayed or grounded or whatever so this was the best I could do.

AVA:  Why did you decide to get romantic all of a sudden?

BRIAN:  Better late than never?

AVA:  Debatable.

BRIAN:  And I wanted to propose.

            (A beat.)

AVA:  You’re going to propose?

BRIAN:  I was.

AVA:  And now you’re not?

BRIAN:  You want me to?

AVA:  Why would you not?

BRIAN:  I wouldn’t if you don’t want me to.

AVA:  You should want to even if I don’t want you to.

BRIAN:  That would be…dumb of me.

AVA:  You think THAT would be dumb of you?

BRIAN:  Eesh.

AVA:  So?

BRIAN:  So what?

AVA:  So propose!

BRIAN:  I can’t.

AVA:  Why not?

BRIAN:  I don’t have the ring.

AVA:  Why don’t you have the ring?

BRIAN:  I gave it to the carnie to hold.

AVA:  ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

BRIAN:  So he could give it back to me when we came back down.

AVA:  Well, the good news is, now we know he’s DEFINITELY not coming back.

BRIAN:  I’m too trusting.

AVA:  I’m surprised you didn’t give him our car keys.

BRIAN:  So do you want to get married?

AVA:  I want to get down.

BRIAN:  And then do you want to get married?

AVA:  We really could die up here.  It’s not a stretch to think that could happen.  The comet’s coming in the next few hours—

BRIAN:  If it comes.

AVA:  --And I’m pretty sure, the least safe play to be when a comet hits the earth, is at the top of a Ferris Wheel.

BRIAN:  Okay.

AVA:  I can almost hear a future version of myself looking at pictures of a Ferris Wheel with two dead people at the top of it saying ‘Why did those idiots get on a Ferris Wheel when the world was about to end?’

BRIAN:  Because they wanted to die together.  It’s romantic.

AVA:  We couldn’t die together in bed or in a storm shelter or—

BRIAN:  Do you love me?

            (A beat.)

AVA:  You’re really never going to leave me, are you?

BRIAN:  That’s an interesting question.

AVA:  Are you?

BRIAN:  Well, I could try to climb down, but—

AVA:  No, I mean, you weren’t planning on it—ever—were you?  I mean, I really didn’t know until just now.  You’re the only guy I’ve ever even liked who hasn’t left and that’s—sometimes I’m a bitch when I’m scared.  That’s why I’m being a bitch right now.  Because I’m scared.  But that’s because I hate heights and we’re up here, but before, whenever I was a bitch, it was because I was scared that eventually you were going to leave.

BRIAN:  I’m not going to leave.  And I wasn’t ever going to leave.  And I want to stand in front of a bunch of people and say ‘Ava, I’m never going anywhere whether you like it or not and do you agree to get on Ferris Wheels with me for the rest of my life even when it seems like a really, really bad idea?’

AVA:  I do.

BRIAN:  I do too.

AVA:  How big was the ring?

BRIAN:  It was really big.

AVA:  Are you saying that just because you know we’re never going to get it back?

BRIAN:  Yes.  Totally yes.

AVA:  Do you think if I just stay up here for a few days eventually I’ll stop being afraid of heights?

BRIAN:  I think you can get used to anything if you put up with it long enough.

AVA:  You think so?

BRIAN:  How do you think most marriages survive?

            (She smiles.  He kisses her on the cheek.)