Cranston

                (Two girls in Cranston.  VANESSA and ROBERTA.  They’re at VANESSA’s house on the porch.)

VANESSA:  …He wants me to go to Providence with him tonight.

ROBERTA:  Providence?  Is he nuts?

VANESSA:  I said that.  I said, ‘Providence?!?  Are you nuts?’

ROBERTA:  He’s nuts.

VANESSA:  It’s going to be a zoo there tonight.  People thinking the world’s ending—

ROBERTA:  The world ain’t gonna end.

VANESSA:  Please.

ROBERTA:  If the world was gonna end, it would’ve ended when my sister got married.  Because when my sister found a man to love her forever, Hell froze over.  I could feel it beneath my feet.

VANESSA:  Your sister is something.

ROBERTA:  I mean, she’s my sister and I love her, but she’s a hateful cow.

VANESSA:  Got that mean eye.

ROBERTA:  Follows you everywhere.  Like one of those portraits in the Haunted Mansion.

VANESSA:  Anyway, I said, ‘Forget Providence.  Come over.  Have a bite.  We’re getting Chinese.’

ROBERTA:  And?

VANESSA:  He don’t want to hear it.

ROBERTA:  Screw him then.

VANESSA:  He’s going to Providence.  I said, ‘You’ll be killed.  They’ll kill you.’

ROBERTA:  He won’t even make it out of the car with all the nuts out tonight.

VANESSA:  ‘They’ll kill you dead and then where will you be?’  He doesn’t think.

ROBERTA:  And you were going to keep dating this guy.

VANESSA:  What do I know?  He seemed worldly.  He goes to Boston twice a week.  I never met anybody who does that before.  Cranston to Boston, twice a week.  That’s like going to Canada once a month.  How do you even do that?

ROBERTA:  I’d shoot myself.

VANESSA:  Kept telling me, ‘Ohhhhhh we’re going to be together forever.’  Until a comet’s coming and then he abandons me.

ROBERTA:  What did he want you to do in Providence anyway?

VANESSA:  His friend’s having a party at the Westin.

ROBERTA:  The Omni?

VANESSA:  No, the Westin.  I don’t acknowledge name changes like that.  You can’t just go changing the name of a building that’s been there forever.  If you want to own a building named the Omni, build something and name it yourself.  But you can’t just go around changing things like that.

ROBERTA:  Okay, fine, so a party at the Westin.

VANESSA:  With all these rich people.  His rich friends.  Who he knows I don’t like.

ROBERTA:  Why don’t you like them?

VANESSA:  They make me feel bad.

ROBERTA:  They say things to you?

VANESSA:  They don’t have to say things.  They think things.  And they think I don’t know what they’re thinking.  I know what they’re thinking because I’d be thinking it if I were them.

ROBERTA:  Sometimes you’re paranoid, Vanessa.

VANESSA:  You sound like him.

ROBERTA:  Sometimes you are.

VANESSA:  So I should go to a party and die with people who make me feel uncomfortable because I might be paranoid?

ROBERTA:  Do whatever you want.  You’re not going to die anyway.  Nobody is.  There’s no comet.

VANESSA:  There is a comet.  It just might not hit us.

ROBERTA:  Everybody’s doing all this crazy shit.  Acting like there’s no tomorrow.  And if there is, then what?  You go to Providence and you die because everybody’s acting crazy you DEFINITELY don’t have a tomorrow—and then the comet misses us and don’t you feel stupid?

VANESSA:  And dead.

ROBERTA:  Right, and dead.

VANESSA:  I should have let you talk to him.

ROBERTA:  You should’ve.

VANESSA:  I should’ve.

ROBERTA:  You should’ve.

                (A moment.)

VANESSA:  You think he’s a good guy though?

                (A beat.)

ROBERTA:  Yeah, I like him.

VANESSA:  You sure?

ROBERTA:  Why do you care if I like him?

VANESSA:  Because if you don’t like him—

ROBERTA:  I never like anybody you date.

VANESSA:  I know, and now you’re saying you like somebody.  That’s big.

ROBERTA:  He getting that thing on his face checked out?

VANESSA:  Next week, you know, if there’s a next week.

ROBERTA:  Right.  He should get that checked out.  Other than that, I like him.

VANESSA:  So maybe…

ROBERTA:  Maybe what?

                (A moment.  VANESSA looks at her with a bit of a question.)

Oh no, c’mon, Vanessa.  Don’t even say it.

VANESSA:  I don’t want to die without him, Roberta.

ROBERTA:  Nobody’s dying.  I’m your best friend.  You think I’m going to lie to you?

VANESSA:  If nobody’s dying, maybe Providence won’t be that bad.

ROBERTA:  Providence is bad even without a comet!

VANESSA:  You haven’t been to Providence in two years.

ROBERTA:  I go everyday!

VANESSA:  Driving through to get to your job in Seekonk doesn’t count.

ROBERTA:  I know all I need to know about Providence.  And I’m going to tell you something else, you talk about dying where you want to die?  I want to die in my house, nice and cozy.  Or here on your porch.  Somewhere I feel good.  Not walking around the streets of a city I don’t like waiting to get mugged just before a comet hits me in the head.

VANESSA:  Yeah, well maybe I don’t.

ROBERTA:  Don’t what?

VANESSA:  Want to die here!

                (A moment.)

ROBERTA:  With me, you mean?

VANESSA:  No, just—Of course I want to die with you.  Don’t be stupid.

ROBERTA:  Then what—

VANESSA:  Just here.  Maybe I don’t want to die here.  Be nice to…I don’t know.

ROBERTA:  Look, you wanna go—

VANESSA:  I’m not going if you’re not going.

ROBERTA:  Well, I’m definitely not going so—

VANESSA:  What are you afraid of?

ROBERTA:  I’m not afraid.  You must be afraid.  Otherwise you’d already be gone.

VANESSA:  If you were a good friend, you’d come with me.

ROBERTA:  If you were a good friend, you wouldn’t ask me to go with you.

                (A stand-off.)

VANESSA:  Come with me.

ROBERTA:  You’re going to have him there.

VANESSA:  I want him and you.  He’s my boyfriend, you’re my best friend—

ROBERTA:  I’m not making you choose.

VANESSA:  Good.

ROBERTA:  But you have to choose.

VANESSA:   You just said—

ROBERTA:  I’m not making you, but a choice has to happen.

VANESSA:  Roberta—

ROBERTA:  I like him, and I love you, but I can’t go.

VANESSA:  Just this once.

ROBERTA:  Well this would be the big one.

VANESSA:  Not if the comet’s a load of—

ROBERTA:  Don’t use my own arguments against me.

VANESSA:  I’m going.

                (A moment.)

I’m going with or without you, but I want to go with you.  Who knows if I’ll get there and he’ll say something stupid or one of the rich assholes will make a comment or I’ll just get sick and want to go home and that’s why I need you there, and I can’t promise that you’ll have a good time or anything but I’m asking, okay?  I’m asking.

                (A moment.)

ROBERTA:  I want to be home by one if the world doesn’t end.

VANESSA:  Okay.

ROBERTA:  Now I’m going to Providence AND my sister is married.  That comet’s coming all right.  We’re all in deep shit.

VANESSA:  Or maybe nothing will happen and we’ll have a great time.

ROBERTA:  Now that would really rock my world.

                (VANESSA smiles.  ROBERTA smiles because she’s smiling.)