Old Business

         (DYLAN enters.  OLIVIA is waiting for him.)

DYLAN:  You’re here.

OLIVIA:  Where else would I be?

DYLAN:  Out doing something more productive than settling old scores?

OLIVIA:  We don’t know for sure that this is it, Dylan.  We could be fine.  That comet could go sailing on by.  We could have years and years ahead of us.  And that means old scores still need to be dealt with.  You still need to be dealt with.  And, as you know, I never find an opportunity and throw it away.  So, I was presented with this—opportunity.  I knew you’d be getting sloppy, because you, like everyone else, would get all weepy and ‘to hell with it’ about life now that you think life might be ending.  So I’m here to take advantage of that and to tie up some loose ends.  Now, do you want to make this easy or hard?

DYLAN:  Liv—

OLIVIA:  Easy or hard?

         (A beat.)

DYLAN:  We could just talk.

OLIVIA:  We’ve already talked.  We’ve talked many times.  Then you decided to play fast and loose and put my brother in the hospital.

DYLAN:  Your brother is a lowlife.

OLIVIA:  Yes, he is.

DYLAN:  He gave you a black eye when you wouldn’t give him drug money.

OLIVIA:  Yes, he did.

DYLAN:  And now you’re here—

OLIVIA:  I’m here because you owe my father money and he sent me here to let you know he’s done waiting for you to get it back to him.  Mainly because he doesn’t believe you CAN get it back to him.  So now you’re no good to anybody.  You could have just let my brother put a bullet in you and go on his merry way, but you had to get all ninja on him and now my father wants to make sure you suffer.  And, just so we’re clear, when my brother gave me a black eye, I put a knife in his stomach.

DYLAN:  You die when you get a knife in the stomach.

OLIVIA:  Apparently junkies are tougher than they used to be.

DYLAN:  So you’re going to kill me?  Kill me then.

OLIVIA:  Well—technically—I’m supposed to torture you first, and then kill me.

DYLAN:  Are you at all worried about salvation?

OLIVIA:  Do I look particularly god-fearing to you?

DYLAN:  A lot of people are out on the streets finding Jesus right now, Liv.

OLIVIA:  There always have been, Dylan.  We just called them homeless and that was that.  Now all of a sudden everybody’s worried about their souls.  I’m good with my soul, Dyl.  I’m not worried at all.  If there’s a Hell and if I’m going there, it’s not going to be because of what I do in this house tonight.  It’s going to be for a lot of other stuff that can’t be undone.

DYLAN:  How did you know I’d come here?

OLIVIA:  I figured you’d want to see your father before the mountains started to crumble into the sea.

DYLAN:  You didn’t—

OLIVIA:  He doesn’t even know I’m here.  He seems to be pretty out of it.  I checked in on him.  He was glad to see me, believe it or not.  He must not know I stopped being a girl scout a long time ago.  He still remembers me as cute Livy from the neighborhood and that’s it.  He even gave me a cookie.

DYLAN:  Did you eat it?

OLIVIA:  Of course, I’m not rude.

DYLAN:  That’s good.

OLIVIA:  Why is he on so many drugs?

DYLAN:  He’s sick.

OLIVIA:  I’ll try not to make too much noise.  And when it’s all over, I’ll take you out of here and bring you somewhere where nobody will find you.  Then I’ll come back here and tell your Dad that you and I are going to go, I don’t know, hang out at the park or something.  If the comet doesn’t show up, I’ll come up with something better than that.  Either way, I’ll try to make it easy on him.  I can’t promise you the same thing, because that’s not the job I’ve been given, but I won’t make a mess.

DYLAN:  You sure you wouldn’t rather just go to the park for real?

OLIVIA:  Not really, no.  I was never much for picnics.

DYLAN:  How many guys have you taken out, Liv?

OLIVIA:  That’s not really—

DYLAN:  How many?

OLIVIA:  A lot.

DYLAN:  We sat next to each other all throughout elementary school.  Do you remember that?

OLIVIA:  Sure do.

DYLAN:  I guess history doesn’t get you far nowadays, huh?

OLIVIA:  I’m sorry, Dylan.

DYLAN:  Yeah.

OLIVIA:  No, I really am.  This isn’t going to be easy for me.  I really like you.  I even had a crush on you way back when.  But eventually we stop being kids and start doing business.  This is business.  That’s all.

DYLAN:  I’m sorry too, Liv.

OLIVIA:  I’m sure you are.

DYLAN:  No, I don’t mean I’m sorry for not paying back your loan shark of a father so I could pay my father’s hospital bills, and I’m not sorry for putting your asshole brother in the hospital, and now I’m not sorry that you’re going to die, because you’ve done a lot of bad things, by your own admission, and because, frankly, you’re an uncaring bitch.  I’m sorry that you became who are you and nobody stopped it.  I’m really sorry for that.

OLIVIA:  You know I brought a gun with me, right?  I wasn’t planning on wrestling you to the ground or anything.

DYLAN:  Right.

OLIVIA:  So you are going to die.

DYLAN:  You shouldn’t have eaten that cookie, Liv.

         (A beat.)

OLIVIA:  What?

DYLAN:  The one my dad gave you.

OLIVIA:  (Laughs.)  Is this a joke?

DYLAN:  My dad never liked your dad.  But he did always like you.  Until he found out what a little henchman you are.

OLIVIA:  I don’t—

DYLAN:  He called me as soon as you came downstairs to wait for me.  If I’m right, you have a little less than a minute until your throat closes and you start to suffocate.

         (She puts her hand on her throat.  It does feel strange.)

OLIVIA:  What did you—

DYLAN:  It’s the oldest mistake in the book.  Don’t banter.  Just shoot the guy you want to kill as soon as you see him.  Of course, in your case, it wouldn’t matter, because my dad took the bullets out of your gun when you went to the bathroom.  Really, Liv?  You used my bathroom and then you were going to kill me?  That’s pretty tacky.

          (She begins to choke.)

DYLAN:  Don’t struggle though.  Just relax.  You have to.  It’ll buy you some time.  If you try chasing after me, you won’t make it past the front porch.  I’ll come back for you later.  Right now, I want to be outside.  I want to enjoy the fresh air.  Maybe do a little shouting, you know?

         (She tries to shout.  Nothing.)

DYLAN:  Aw, that was just mean of me, I know.  Oh well.  It was good seeing you, Liv.  Don’t worry.  I’ll tell your Dad exactly what happened—as soon as I’m done visiting your brother in the hospital.  Because if there’s one thing you and I both don’t like, it’s unfinished business.

         (He exits.  OLIVIA sits and tries not to lose her breath.)