Thursday, June 13, 2013

Things We'll Never Know


                (SYLVIA is looking at a map.  DANNY walks in.)

DANNY:  Ma, what’s wrong?  They need me down at the store.

SYLVIA:  You’re working now?  At a time like this?

DANNY:  People are buying gas like crazy.  Everybody’s headed out of town.

SYLVIA:  Where they going?  Is there a place the comet isn’t supposed to hit?

DANNY:  People just gotta run.  Nobody just wants to sit around waiting for something to happen.

SYLVIA:  I should have moved to Vegas when I had the chance.  I wouldn’t have minded dying there.

DANNY:  You’ve never even been to Vegas.

SYLVIA:  I go there in my dreams.

DANNY:  What’s with the map?

SYLVIA:  I’m trying to figure out where your brother went.

                (A beat.)

DANNY:  Ma, c’mon—

SYLVIA:  I feel like we might have missed something.

DANNY:  We didn’t miss anything.

SYLVIA:  Well, we never found him, did we?

DANNY:  You’re talking twenty years ago.

SYLVIA:  He didn’t want to go camping.

DANNY:  Ma, we looked everywhere.  Why are you doing this?

SYLVIA:  Because we’re running out of time.

DANNY:  I thought we gave up on this.

SYLVIA:  Maybe you gave up, I never gave up.  You just kept saying he was dead.  You and your father.  I never said that.  He’s somewhere.  Everybody’s somewhere, you just have to find them.  People don’t just float off into space or evaporate into thin air.  He’s somewhere on this map.

DANNY:  What do you think you’re going to see looking at something you’ve looked at a million times?

SYLVIA:  A place where we forgot to look.

DANNY:  We looked everywhere.  And then when the search party got called off, Dad and I used to go weekends and look.  There was just too much ground to cover.

SYLVIA:  I should have gone.

DANNY:  You in the woods?

SYLVIA:  I should have been there the first time you went.  Then he never would have gotten lost.

DANNY:  Let’s not—Ma, let’s just not, okay?

SYLVIA:  You don’t want to figure this out before we all die?

DANNY:  Yeah, Ma, and while we’re at it, why don’t we try finding Jimmy Hoffa too?

SYLVIA:  This isn’t a joke.

DANNY:  No, it’s not.  You’re spending what could be your last night on earth trying to figure out something that’s never going to be figured out.  There isn’t going to be a happy ending to this, Ma.  I thought you knew that years ago.

SYLVIA:  It’d be one thing if they found him, but they never did.  They never found anything.

DANNY:  It’s the wilderness, Ma.  It’s miles and miles of nothing.  Finding him would be like—

SYLVIA:  If he’s out there—

DANNY:  You’re talking a decade.  It’s not like he stumbled into some cabin somewhere and learned to live off the land.

SYLVIA:  I can’t die not knowing what happened to my son, Danny.  I’m sorry.

DANNY:  You were probably going to die not knowing anyway.  That’s the truth, Ma.  I’m sorry, but that is the truth.

                (A beat.  She sits.)

SYLVIA:  You know, at my age, you’d think I’d know better than to always expect a happy ending.

DANNY:  You think I like having things cut short like this?  You think I don’t have things I want to know about?

SYLVIA:  Like what?

DANNY:  Like, I don’t know.  What it’ll feel like to get married or make good money or have a kid.

SYLVIA:  Marriage, when it’s a good marriage, feels like a heated pool, making good money makes you paranoid because you know it won’t last, and having kids is like holding an egg on your nose with your head tilted back while somebody screams at you ‘Don’t drop it, don’t drop it.’  Any other mysteries you want solved?

DANNY:  What’s a bad marriage feel like?

SYLVIA:  I wouldn’t know.

DANNY:  Ma?

                (A beat.)

SYLVIA:  Like walking through a swamp.  A swamp that used to be a heated pool.

                (A moment.)

I know you had it tough.  Having a crazy person for a mother, running around these past ten years, always being the kid who wasn’t lost—

DANNY:  It’s okay, Ma.

SYLVIA:  It’s not really.  I always told myself when we found Sam it’d be…

                (A moment.)

That it’d be over, and we could go from there.  I really thought this would all just be one chapter, you know.  One chapter and then the next.  Not the end.  I didn’t think it would all just end like this.  I thought there’d still be time for Vegas.

DANNY:  We had fun on that trip, you know.

SYLVIA:  Did you?  How did I not know that?

DANNY:  All things considered, I guess it just never came up.  The actual trip.

SYLVIA:  But Sam hated camping.

DANNY:  Yeah, but once he got there, we found this nice spot, and we made s’mores, and we just kind of sat around and talked.  Dad told stupid jokes.  The tent fell down five times before we got it right.  It was…nice.  Right up until it wasn’t.

SYLVIA:  He just walked away?

DANNY:  To—you know—and he didn’t come back.  It was five minutes, maybe ten, before I started feeling…like something was up, and I started calling for him.  How far could he have gone in five minutes?  In ten even?  Fifteen?  I mean, how far could you get?

SYLVIA:  It’s all right, Danny.

DANNY:  I think about that sometimes—

SYLVIA:  You should go to work.

DANNY:  He’d be so old now.  He’d be—

SYLVIA:  It was wrong of me to start picking at all this again.  I just think too much sometimes.

DANNY:  How old would he be?

SYLVIA:  Twenty-five.

                (A beat.)

DANNY:  I should go.

SYLVIA:  Go to work.

DANNY:  You need anything?

SYLVIA:  No, I’m all right.

DANNY:  Quit looking at maps, all right?

SYLVIA:  All right.

DANNY:  All right?

SYLVIA:  I said all right, didn’t I?  I’ll quit.  I’m sorry.  I…I’m sorry.

                (A moment.)

DANNY:  It’s like they say in the movies, you know?  Like, bad movies where a kid goes missing or somebody dies, they say—Is this how they would want us to be?  Living like this?  Spending our last few hours crying about…about whatever.  But who knows?  Maybe they would.  Maybe they’d be pissed off if they came back and looked in the window and saw everybody happy and laughing.  Maybe they do want us to be sad forever.  I mean, you can’t…

                (A moment.)

SYLVIA:  Just another thing we’ll never know, huh?

DANNY:  Yeah.  Yeah, I guess you’re right.

                (He leaves.  SYLVIA sits, and glances over at the map.)

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