Chinese Food

(JANET and TERRI are standing outside a Chinese food restaurant.  They don’t speak right away.  JANET looks at TERRI, then looks away.  Then a minute goes by.  Then JANET looks at TERRI again.  Then she decides to say something.)

JANET:  Do you think they’re closed?

                (TERRI looks at JANET.  A moment.)

TERRI:  They’re never closed.

JANET:  I know, but—

TERRI:  It’s China South.  It never closes.  It’s open on Christmas.

JANET:  But with, you know, the Apocalypse, maybe they finally, you know, called it in.

TERRI:  Yeah, well, I want Chinese.  I’m not calling it in.

JANET:  There’s nothing in the markets.  Everyone’s stocking up, I guess.

TERRI:  I wouldn’t know.  I don’t cook.

JANET:  You don’t have anything at your house?

TERRI:  Why do you think I’m here?

JANET:  Yeah, but I mean in terms of a long-term solution—

TERRI:  Is there anything I can actually help you with?

                (A moment.)

JANET:  No.

TERRI:  Okay, then.

                (A moment.)

TERRI:  They were supposed to be open an hour ago.

JANET:  They’re not coming.

TERRI:  I passed a diner on the way here.  I was going to stop in.  The lights were on, but…

JANET:  But what?

TERRI:  But I wanted Chinese and I wanted to think I could get it.

JANET:  There are other Chinese places.

TERRI:  This is where my husband and I go.

JANET:  Oh.  Is he at home?

TERRI:  He took off.  Left a note.  Heard something about a colony in the mountains that has safe houses built into caves.

JANET:  Sounds like a scam.

TERRI:  Probably, but he saw a chance and he took it.  Can’t blame him.

JANET:  So he just left you?

TERRI:  We weren’t that close.

JANET:  You were married.

TERRI:  I think that’s going to mean something different now.

JANET:  Well…yeah.

                (A moment.)

TERRI:  You come here a lot?

JANET:  Once a week.  I pick up some take-out, rent a movie, kind of treat myself, you know?

TERRI:  Ever been married?

JANET:  Once.  Didn’t work out.

TERRI:  Why not?

JANET:  I like my privacy, I guess.  Nothing he did.

TERRI:  So you left him?

JANET:  I wouldn’t say I left him.

TERRI:  Did you leave a note?

JANET:  I…It was more of a letter.  Thirty-seven pages.

TERRI:  You’re lying.

JANET:  Nope.  I just didn’t want him to feel bad and I thought if I kept writing down all the reasons it was me and not him it would—Now it just seems stupid.

TERRI:  No, that was nice of you.  At least he had something to read when he was laying in bed without his wife for that first month.

                (A moment.)

TERRI:  I hate that I’m going to have to eat this food alone.  If I get it, which I probably won’t.  I haven’t ordered anything for just myself in…

JANET:  The trick is not to worry about it.  Just order what you would normally order and save whatever you don’t finish.  Just don’t think about it.  Don’t ever say ‘Oh my God, there’s all this food.’  Just put it in the fridge and keep pecking at it every day until it’s all gone.

TERRI:  Thanks for the tip.

                (A moment.)

TERRI:  Should we give up on this?

JANET:  No, I don’t think so.  Sometimes you give up on things, and then five minutes later, everything’s fine.  Somebody shows up, and apologizes for being late, and it’s not what you thought it was, you know?  And if that happens, you’d feel silly, having left.

TERRI:  But is that realistic?

JANET:  Look, I thought you wanted Chinese food.

TERRI:  I do, but I feel like an idiot.  Maybe I’ll feel like an idiot if I leave too, but—I’m hungry.

JANET:  Well, I’m hungry too.  A lot of people are hungry.  But you can’t just give up.

TERRI:  I’m surprised you’re not giving up.

JANET:  What?

TERRI:  You heard me.

JANET:  I don’t give up, okay?  Sometimes I remove myself from situations that are—where there’s—sometimes it’s pointless, okay, I’ll grant you that.  But this is not one of those times.  They’re only an hour late.  It’s not the end of the world.

TERRI:  Except it is the end of the world.

JANET:  It might not be.

TERRI:  Look, I know you don’t really want to be here.  You said so yourself.

JANET:  I never said that.

TERRI:  The first words out of your mouth were—They’re closed.

JANET:  No, I asked you if you thought they were closed.  I was just asking.  I’m not going anywhere so just calm down.

TERRI:  I don’t care if you go anywhere.

JANET:  Oh please.  You want to stand out here by yourself all day waiting for them to show up.

TERRI:  It doesn’t bother me.

JANET:  I think it does.

TERRI:  It doesn’t.

JANET:  I think it does!

TERRI:  YOU DON’T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT ME!  WE’RE TOTAL STRANGERS!  THIS IS NUTS!

                (A beat.)

JANET:  I’m not going anywhere.  I’ll wait.  Eventually, if the comet misses, then…they’ll be here.

TERRI:  We could be waiting forever.

JANET:  We won’t be.  Eventually, they’ll show up.  People don’t just abandon each other.  They have reasons why they can’t be where they should be, and then, when those reasons are no longer relevant, they…go back.  Okay?

TERRI:  Okay.

JANET:  Okay.  So we wait.

TERRI:  Look, I appreciate the symbolic gesture of all this, but I really am hungry.  Can we at least order a pizza?

JANET:  …Make the call.

                (TERRI takes out her cell phone and starts dialing.  JANET continues to wait.)