Still

(A fountain in the park.  CARA sits.  LOGAN approaches.)

LOGAN:  You still look beautiful.

(CARA looks at him.  She should be startled, but she’s just glad to see him.)

CARA:  Seven years.  You’re unforgivable.

LOGAN:  Do you forgive me for being unforgivable?

CARA:  Yes.  I forgave you before you needed to be forgiven.  That’s the nature of our relationship.

LOGAN:  Or it was.

CARA:  Seven years.

LOGAN:  Can I sit down?

CARA:  Of course.  I called you.

LOGAN:  Texted.

CARA:  Yes.

LOGAN:  I didn’t know you still had my number.

CARA:  It’s in my phone as ‘Do Not Call.’

LOGAN:  But you called.

CARA:  I texted.

LOGAN:  Right, so—

CARA:  Have a seat.

(He sits.)

LOGAN:  Is this because you wanted to find out how I’m dong, if I’ve changed—

CARA:  How are you doing?

LOGAN:  I’m great.

CARA:  Have you changed?

LOGAN:  Enough to be doing great.

CARA:  Are you…?

LOGAN:  Yes.  Her name is Zoe.  She’s older than me.  We live together, but we’ve both decided marriage isn’t for us.  Neither are kids.  We are investigating the idea of getting a dog.  Something small that can fit in a plastic bag if it gets noisy.

CARA:  You’re—

LOGAN:  Joking.  We would never get a dog.  I can’t be trusted with anything that can die from lack of attention.

CARA:  So you’re more self-aware now, huh?

LOGAN:  I’m not a bad guy anymore.  I don’t know how I can just say that, but I know I can.  I was a bad guy, and I admit that, but I’m not bad anymore, and I’m sorry you don’t know me now, because I think you wouldn’t hate the guy I am now, but at the same time, I am who I am now because of how bad I was to you and because I couldn’t forgive myself for it or justify it and so the only solution was to change.

(A beat.)

CARA:  So Zoe is reaping the benefits of my catastrophe.

LOGAN:  Well…yes.

CARA:  Good for her.  Good for Zoe with the stupid name.

LOGAN:  That’s mean, and a generalization.  A generalization about people named Zoe—that they have stupid names.

CARA:  I’ve never even met a Zoe.  Did you meet her at bikram yoga or at an open mic poetry night?

LOGAN:  Her real name is Stacey.

CARA:  Are you serious?

LOGAN:  Her middle name is Ann.  She’s Stacey Ann Brenton.  Her entire being is an invented persona.

CARA:  So do you love her or the persona?

LOGAN:  I can’t answer that without also making an unwanted determination about my relationship.

CARA:  And yet things are great.

LOGAN:  Things are better than they’ve ever been.  Comparatively, things are amazing.

CARA:  I appreciate you taking time away from Zoe during Cometgate.

LOGAN:  Is that what they’re calling it?  Cometgate?

CARA:  It’s what I’m calling it.

LOGAN:  So this is about closure.  Let’s do it.  Let’s give you what you need.

CARA:  This isn’t about closure.

LOGAN:  Cara, you called—

CARA:  --Texted—

LOGAN:  --Me—after seven years.  Clearly, you want something.

CARA:  I wanted to see you and see how you are.  I meant what I said, I forgave you a long time ago for…everything.

LOGAN:  How?

CARA:  How?

LOGAN:  Yes, how?

CARA:  I do bikram yoga and go to open mic poetry nights.

LOGAN:  Seriously, Cara.

CARA:  It just stopped.  I would love to say it’s more…something than that, but the truth is, one day I woke up, and I just didn’t hate you anymore.  I don’t know how long that had been the case, but it’s how it was.  I wanted to call you and tell you, but the truth is, even though I didn’t hate you, I didn’t want to let you off the hook either.  And I knew that one day you’d start to feel bad about how you treated me, and that would eventually snowball into this unending guilt, and it would eat away at you slowly until you barely resembled a man anymore.

LOGAN:  And now, after seven years, you’re wondering if it’s come to that?

CARA:  No, I thought it would take fifteen years, but it looks like we’ve run out of time.

LOGAN:  I do feel badly, and you’re right, the guilt would probably get worse.  At the very least, as the comet was coming down, how I treated you was probably going to be my biggest regret.

CARA:  That’s good to know.

LOGAN:  So…how are you doing?

CARA:  I won the lottery.

LOGAN:  Ha.

CARA:  No, really, two days ago.  I won the state lottery.  You didn’t hear about it?

LOGAN:  Uh—

CARA:  That makes sense actually.  The news has been sort of focused on the world ending.  Local lottery winners aren’t getting the coverage they so rightfully deserve.

LOGAN:  You’re a—

CARA:  Eighty-three million.

LOGAN:  That’s incredible!

CARA:  It would be, if I was going to see any of it.  I haven’t even gotten the first check yet.

LOGAN:  But you—Oh.  Ohhhhh that sucks.

CARA:  Yes.  Yes, it does.  But, you know, they said there’s a twenty percent chance of Non-Apocalypse so—

LOGAN:  And then you’d be rich.

CARA:  I would be.

LOGAN:  Well…good for you.

CARA:  Yeah.  I…I’m going to be okay, you know?  As long as I don’t die.

LOGAN:  If you don’t die, you’re going to be amazing.

CARA:  I’ve never really known that, you know?  After you left, and even since then, I’ve had trouble either getting too close to somebody or not letting people get close, and ultimately, I always just thought, well, that’s it, I’m never going to be able to really count on anybody, and now, it’s like—I don’t need to count on anybody.  I mean, I do, in other ways that aren’t tangible, but really, for the first time in my life, I can say that I’m going to be able to take care of myself.

LOGAN:  You’ve always done that.

CARA:  No, I haven’t.  Not really.  Because really I’ve always been looking for somebody to do it for me.  I mean, this is in no way letting you off the hook for being such a creep, but—I thought revenge on you and then forgiving you and inner peace would come from me saying ‘I found someone else’ or ‘I’m getting married’ or ‘Yes, the baby’s due next April,’ but the truth is, the real reason we can sit here without me feeling furious or upset or even mildly uncomfortable is because I can look at you and say ‘I’m okay.  And I’m going to keep being okay.’

LOGAN:  As long as we don’t die.

CARA:  Right.  As long as that doesn’t happen.  I’m going to be great.  And—and this is the real growth moment here—I really want you to be okay too.

LOGAN:  Thank you.

CARA:  So dump Zoe.  Get married.  Have kids.  Not because it’s clichéd, but because I can tell it’s what you really want to do.

LOGAN:  It’s too late to turn around now, don’t you think?

CARA:  Logan, last week I had three dollars in my bank account.  Now, I’m sort of a multi-millionaire.  Plan to live.  You only need one game-changing moment, and it only takes a minute to call out six numbers.

(She stands.)

That’s all the wisdom I have.  Good-bye Logan.

LOGAN:  No coffee?  No dinner?  No sleeping together?

CARA:  No.  But I’m glad you think I still look beautiful.  It’s not necessarily what I needed to hear, but it doesn’t hurt.

(She walks away from him.  He watches her go.)

LOGAN:  Bye.