Sunday, August 22, 2010

Dylan in Dublin

You know, normally I hate travel
But I don't consider it traveling
When I can still understand the language

That's why I came here

Um, no, I don't drink

I'm not even Irish

It's just my mother is in Paris
And my ex-girlfriend is in Austria
And I'm not brave enough to venture any farther than Europe
Even to make the point that I can travel
I just choose not to

I tried London first
But it was raining there
And there was this woman
Standing outside the rain
Looking up into it
Probably imagining a dead child
Or something
And that was a bad omen
In my opinion

So I decided Dublin might be fun

I knew a girl once
Who went to Dublin
And she said she loved it

Then again, she killed herself

So...

I'd like to do something life-changing
While I'm here

Are there any mountains I can scale?

I'd prefer a smaller mountain
So as not to irritate my asthma

I've never been officially diagnosed
As having asthma
But you really have to trust your instincts
On things like that

My mom used to tease me
About stuff like that

She was always traveling everywhere
While I stayed home with whatever babysitter
She could come up with in under a day's notice

Most of the time it was my grandmother
She at least believed me
When I told her
I was suffering from acute Indian malaria

After awhile, we sort of banded together
Against my mother
Until finally she was gone
More than she was home

I think it was for the best

As mother and son
We just weren't a good match

As distant cousins, I think we would have gotten along fine

. . . . .

I'm supposed to be at my graduation right now

I'm graduating from Brown

You've never heard of it?

You've never heard of BROWN?

No, it's not near Harvard
But thank you for salting that wound

My grandmother is going to be incensed
When she finds out I'm not there

I didn't tell her I wasn't going
I just...took off

My mother would be proud

Except...

I didn't do it to be like her

I did it because I'm done with college
And I have absolutely no idea
What it is I'm supposed to do

More importantly
I felt the urge
To move somewhere

Every friend I've had in college
Are spending this week
Packing up their stuff
And moving

Some have internships
Some have jobs
Some have trips planned
But a good number of them
Are just moving--for the hell of it

My friend Jason is moving to Colorado
And when I asked why he said--

'Because it sounds like something to do.'

People are no longer experimenting with ice cream flavors
They're experimenting with residences

But you can't fight it

And since I had no plans
On going anywhere

Because I had planned
On spending however much time I needed
Trying to figure out who the hell I am
And trying to do that in a new location
Would be ultimately more difficult for me
I was already way behind everyone else
When it came to exit strategies

So I said, 'What the hell, I'll just skip graduation.'

And I bet that everyone back home
Probably envies me

I have run away faster
Than everyone I know

They'll probably send me a medal

Do you have Sprite here?
I'd love a Sprite

...On the rocks

There's another reason I missed graduation

I don't do well with...leaving

With good-byes
That kind of thing

I guess I decided that this time around
I'd rather be doing the leaving

So I left

And came here

And now I'd like to change my life

So...

Is there an orphanage I can volunteer at or something?

I just want to feel like an adult now

I want to feel like I'm moving

Like I'm one of those moving people

My whole life I've been in one place
So now I'm here
In a different place

I moved

I guess from here on out
I'm going to leave it up to luck

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