Putting Mom Away

Mother, Carol and I have discussed this
And we feel it's for the best
If you go live a place that's...

...Better suited for you

No, not a...well, not a home, per se
More like a...happy place for people
Who are nearing the end of their lives

Oh, I know, you're only forty-three
But you're already forgetting things
Like when you promised me an IPad for Christmas
And 'forgot' how much it cost
Despite the fact that I taped a photo of it
Onto your windshield

Mom, if that slipped past your mind
I can't imagine what else
Is going to slide through there

Carol wanted me to point out
That you've been getting more aggressive

Just last week you beat up that poor boy
Who was crawling out of her bedroom window
Even though she explained to you
That he was only helping her come up
With a fire evacuation plan

Again, Mom, you 'forgot'

Once you're at the home
You'll be so much happier

Oh, it's not a 'retirement' home, Mother

You're still going to be expected to go to work

How else are you going to send me and Carol money
So we can continue on with our lives?

After all, we don't want your descent into infirmity
Tearing apart the family, now do we?

Carol and I have already planned out a family trip to Vegas
Once you're put away--I mean, safely tucked away

Minus you of course

You'll be busy getting adjusted to your new home

Learning how to play shuffleboard
Figuring out how to use the I-need-my-meds button
Making friends with the nurses

Well, we're going to need the vacation
After suffering the trauma of dropping you off at the home

Seeing your worn-out little forty-three year old face
Staring at us as we drive away
A small river of drool
Gently escaping your cracked lips

Waving at us sadly as the car rounds the bend

The car you never let Carol drive

We'll be devastated, of course

But life goes on, Mother

Life goes on