Have You Tried the Kool-Aid?

Have you tried the Kool-Aid?

They think we don’t know

What’s in it

Our families

The people who come to visit

At the gate

They want to chalk this all up

To naivete

Or stupidity or something

It’s not that

I like the Kool-Aid

I like the way

It makes me feel

I used to be in the corporate game

Mostly financials

Lots of numbers

When I think of all the shit

I used to cram

In my head

It’s crazy to me

That people wonder

Why one day I just woke up and said--

No more

Now I feel so--

I honestly feel lighter

Is what I would say

I do say it

I say it to my family

When they come to the gate

Twice they’ve tried to kidnap me

And take me back home

They talk about brainwashing

But they don’t--

You know

They don’t know what to do about the fact

That this was all my choice

I chose this

It’s not like I used to live

Anywhere near here

I had to spend a lot of time and money

Getting here

We all did

It’s like they think this a Pied Piper situation

Or something

Like we were lured here

Away from our happy lives

By some siren call or something

I just think everybody’s definition

Of insanity is so subjective

And, uh, you know,

Nobody thought I was crazy

For working sixty-hour work weeks

Nobody thought I was nuts

When I skipped Christmas

Because we had a deal fall through in Japan

And my boss put me on a flight to Tokyo

At three am on Christmas Eve

Nobody thought I was out of my mind

When I had to see eight different doctors

Because I kept having all these medical symptoms

That I haven’t had since I’ve been here

And the whole just turned out to be

Because my life was poisoning me

But living in a hut

In the woods

With a guy who says he’s Jesus

Is crossing a line, right?

But why is that the line?

My barometer for crazy--

After years of destroying myself

And my body

In the name of corporate finance

--Is really off, let me tell you

But at least out here

I have fresh air

I have very few worries

Responsibilities

Jesus keeps saying one day

We’re all going to ‘go home’

And whenever it looks like that’s going to happen

I’ll probably hightail it

To the nearest motel

And call a cab

But in the meantime

I’m doing pretty well

People pay for retreats, you know

This one is free

And so is the Kool-Aid

I gotta tell you

I can’t stop drinking it

Never really cared for it

Before I got here

But now?

I can’t get enough of it