Linda and Fran Try to Have a Conversation Once Game of Thrones is Over

                (An office.  May 27^th, 2019.  LINDA and FRAN are having coffee.)

LINDA:  You do anything fun this weekend?

FRAN:  No.

                (A beat.)

LINDA:  Matt found a rock in the yard.

FRAN:  Oh yeah?

LINDA:  He put it down as soon as he picked it up.

FRAN:  Huh.

                (A beat.)

LINDA:  I tried that pre-rubbed pork I was telling you about.

FRAN:  What?

LINDA:  The one at the market.  With the spices—

FRAN:  Oh.  Right.

                (A beat.)

LINDA:  Remember when Jon Snow found the—

FRAN:  Don’t, Linda.  Just…don’t.

                (A beat.)

LINDA:  I miss Game of Thrones.

FRAN:  I know.  We all do, but…it’s gone.

LINDA:  Maybe they’ll make that prequel series?

FRAN:  It won’t be as good.

LINDA:  I know.

                (A beat.)

FRAN:  How’s your dad doing?

LINDA:  I don’t have a dad.  I was raised by two moms.

FRAN:  Oh.  How are they?

LINDA:  They’re kind of sad.

FRAN:  Why?

LINDA:  They loved Game of Thrones.

FRAN:  Oh.

                (A beat.)

LINDA:  There must be other things we can talk about.

FRAN:  Books?

LINDA:  You mean Game of Thrones?

FRAN:  No, other books.

LINDA:  There are other books?

FRAN:  What about other tv shows?

LINDA:  Oh, I don’t own a tv.  I live a very minimalist lifestyle.  I don’t even have a blender.

FRAN:  So how do you watch—

LINDA:  I go over Todd’s brother’s house to watch it.  He has a little party every week.

FRAN:  Oh.

LINDA:  Although there’s always so much talking about what’s going on, that sometimes I miss what’s going on, and then I’m not sure what’s happening, but it’s nice.  Todd’s wife Christine makes the best dip.  Oh my god.  You’ve never had dip this good.

FRAN:  Ah.

LINDA:  I’m going to miss that dip.

FRAN:  We could talk about the news.

LINDA:  You mean politics?

FRAN:  Sure.

LINDA:  Like whether or not the right person wound up on the Iron Throne?

FRAN:  No, like, real world politics.

LINDA:  Oh.

                (A beat.)

FRAN:  Like, what do you—identify as?

LINDA:  Oh, I’m a Stark.

FRAN:  No, I mean a political party.

LINDA:  Oh.

                (A beat.)

I’m a Stark.

FRAN:  Seen any good movies lately?

LINDA:  I don’t go to the movies.  Too violent.

FRAN:  Oh.

LINDA:  You know what my favorite episode is?  ‘The Red Wedding.’

FRAN:  That wasn’t too violent for you?

LINDA:  Well, it’s different when it’s a tv show.  Like how I can’t stand swearing in real life, but on The Sopranos it was okay.  Or like how normally you’d think anybody who watches a television show expressly for the purpose of seeing characters they’ve grown to love and invest in die brutal deaths is either a glutton for punishment or a straight-up sociopath, but somehow, that’s not the case because we’ve all agreed it isn’t.

                (A beat.)

FRAN:  Nevertheless, we need to, you know, move on—collectively.  Like, as a society.  Except when it comes to Halloween.  I already ordered my Daenerys costume and this is definitely the year I win the office costume party.

LINDA:  Who?

FRAN:  Daenerys.  You know who Daenerys is, don’t you?

LINDA:  Mmmmm, is that the mean one?

FRAN:  Linda!

LINDA:  What?

FRAN:  I thought you watched the show?

LINDA:  I mean, I sort of half-watch it when I’m not eating Christine’s dip or checking my phone—

FRAN:  You’re always tweeting about it.

LINDA:  Noooo I’m always re-tweeting about it.  There’s a difference.

FRAN:  But you seemed so sad when it ended.

LINDA:  That’s because I liked having something to talk about every week.  And it gave me a reason to spend time with people at the viewing party—

FRAN:  You could just go to a regular party.

LINDA:  What are those?

FRAN:  Like, something where you just go over someone’s house or they go over yours—

LINDA:  For what purpose?

FRAN:  I don’t know.  To socialize?

LINDA:  Fran, it’s like you’re speaking Dothraki right now.

FRAN:  You remember Dothraki but not Daenerys?

LINDA:  Well, that Jason Momoa is very handsome—

FRAN:  People talked about lots of things before there was Game of Thrones.  Think about it.  What were we talking about in 2010?

LINDA:  Uh…

FRAN:  Was that The Hunger Games?

LINDA:  No—was it Star Wars?

FRAN:  Star Wars hadn’t been rebooted yet.

LINDA:  Marvel?

FRAN:  Was still sort of—

LINDA:  50 Shades?

FRAN:  No, that was February 13, 2015.

                (A beat.)

FRAN:  I, uh, I think that was the…day.

LINDA:  Oh!  Lost!

FRAN:  That’s right!  Lost had just ended.

LINDA:  Remember how much we loved Lost?

FRAN:  Oh, but that ending.

LINDA:  Hated that ending.

FRAN:  What was that?

LINDA:  I think it was religious?

FRAN:  Not that we hate religion.

LINDA:  No, I love religion.  I have two of them.

FRAN:  I just thought it was confusing.

LINDA:  Very confusing.

FRAN:  And did we ever figure out what was going on with that polar bear?

LINDA:  I did like that everybody died.

FRAN:  Is that what happened?  They were all dead?

LINDA:  Everybody except the smoking person.

FRAN:  I thought it was a monster?

LINDA:  Weren’t the monster and the polar bear the same thing?

FRAN:  I loved that show.

LINDA:  Me too.

FRAN:  What a great show.

LINDA:  Really gave you something to talk about.

                The End