This Is Not a Real Castle

The plastic castle

Is not designed

For adults

But for whatever reason

We can’t seem to keep

Grown women out of them

Everyday we arrive

And there’s a woman

Sitting in the castle

Wearing a dress

And a crown

And acting natural

The castle has no floor

So we tell these women

They’re not even really sitting

In the castle

But on the linoleum floor

Of our store

Which is never thoroughly cleaned

But they don’t seem to care

They ask us to please

Step away from the castle

So they can go on

With the business

Of the kingdom

And that’s usually

When we have to call

And have them arrested

Which is never pleasant

None of us are sure

How they get inside the store

And none of us enjoy

Having princesses arrested

Before we’ve even had

Our morning coffee

But life doesn’t always

Present you with choices

Now does it?

Midway through our day

Some other woman

Manages to sneak

Into the castle

And claims that it’s her right

As the ruler

Of the toy department

There’s no arguing

With these women

And arguing scares customers anyway

So we simply make the call

And wait for the police

And assure all the children

With their moms and dads

That the forty-six-year-old woman

Trapping herself in a castle

Is really a princess

But that her knights

Who look like policemen

Are coming to pick her up

The children don’t believe us

Because we’re not very good liars

And when the police come

They cry and hug their parents

And ask them

Why the princess

Can’t stay in the castle

That’s when their parents look to us

As if it’s our job

To explain capitalism

And ownership

And retail

And grand delusion

If it were up to us

We’d happily let a princess

Live in the toy castle

We’d let princesses

Live in all the castles

But it’s not up to us

It’s up to our managers

Who hide in their offices

Three levels down

Below sales and accounting

They want a princess-free store

Minus the dolls we sell

On Aisle Seven

And so we call the police

And wait

For another princess

To sneak into the castle

And demand

To be treated

With the respect she deserves

At night

When the store is closed

And the motion sensor lights

Go off

One by one

We hesitate at the door of the store

To see if we can hear

The light touch

Of royal feet

On linoleum

But princesses

Do their work quietly

And by the time

You know where they are

They’re very comfortable

Despite all the reasons

They shouldn’t be