Sunday Season

It’s just a Sunday season

And it’s going to be that way

For awhile

For a few months at least

But it won’t feel that way

It won’t feel like a few months

Once it’s over

Once it’s over

It’ll feel like the blink of an eye

I’m out on the porch on Monday’s

Tuesday’s

Every night of the week

Just enjoying the fact

That I’m a damn adult

Who is not a teacher

So I don’t even have to think about the fact

That it’s a school night

But it still feels like a Sunday

And teachers are heroes

But there’s something about the dry

Delayed feeling

Of every single night

Once the weather gets warm

That I just can’t enough of

That thing where it’s not summer

But it’s not winter

And it’s not spring

Because spring doesn’t exist anymore

Because of the rising global temperature

But it’s something like

What we used to call spring

Now I just call it Sunday season

There’s a little anxiety

About having to get up

The next day

But it’s a--

Can pleasurable anxiety be a thing?

Because if it is

That’s what it is

I leave the front door open
And I sit on the porch

And I drink a little

And I say ‘Oh, it’s not dark yet’

And then it gets dark

And then I go inside

I’m better in the cold weather

Much better

I’m a cold weather

Sort of person

But you can’t really be mad

At sunshine

And a little heat, can you?

The thing about Sunday season is

When there’s a Sunday

During Sunday season

It is the most Sunday Sunday

And it is unbearable

It’s the purest flame

Held up to the softest palm

Crackling and flickering

One day I’m going to shut myself

Inside the house

And when Sunday season comes around

It won’t matter

Because I won’t even remember

What Sunday feels like

Compared to--

Compared to whatever else

There is to feel

I’ll black out the curtains

And turn on old music

Classical music

Or girl pop

Or Latin jazz

And I’ll just forget whatever’s going on

Anywhere but two feet

In front of me

I’m too affected, you know

That’s the problem

I’m too--

It’s not seasonal depression

But it’s something like it

I sit on the porch

And I can feel the world

Wanting me

To get up and do something

And I don’t want to

I mean, I am really

Not interested in that

But it’s hard to argue

When the rotation of the planet

Is just pushing you

Around and around

Towards something

That makes you feel

Like a human being again

Because it’s going to take a lot

It’s going to take

A lot more

Than your average changing

Of the weather gods

It’s going to take...something

To make this all feel

Like something else

Entirely