Mrs. Brugel Does Her Taxes

Hello kids!

Today, we're going to be doing something very special

Mrs. Brugel's taxes!

Now, as you can see
There are piles of receipts
On each one of your desks

I need you to go through the receipts
And pull out anything that looks like
It might have something to do
With what Mrs. Brugel does for work

For example, 'art supplies' or 'pencil sharpeners' or 'Beanie Babies Off Ebay'

...Remember when we had Beanie Baby day?  And I brought in photos of me holding all my Beanie Babies for you to look at...but not touch?  Remember?

That's called a 'write-off'

You can 'write-off' all kinds of things, children
And you should
Because otherwise the government
Makes you pay extra for things
You need to survive

Like gasoline for your car
And sweaters for your ferrets
And lunches with your boss
That turn into weekend getaways
That turn into messy divorces...

You know, necessities

Remember when we learned the word 'necessities?'

Those are necessities

But you need receipts to prove that you bought those necessities
And that's why we're doing this little project
Because the government doesn't trust us, children
And that's okay, because we don't trust the government either
Which is why Mrs. Brugel has us do our militia drills everyday
Isn't that right?

Some people think we shouldn't even have to pay taxes, children
And do you know who those people were?

The Founding Fathers

They hated taxes so much
That they broke away from England
Dumped hot chocolate in Lake Huron
And then taxed us even harder than the Brits

Which just goes to show you
All men are the same

Now, while you're sorting
Someone see if you can find out how much I paid
For my vintage Goldie Hawn on 'Laugh-In' doll

I think that salesgirl overcharged me

This, children, is why it's important
To keep good records