Hullo, my name is Vinny Diaranzo
And I am the terd generation of men
Who seek to bring you
The best in greeting cards
Why buy Hallllllllmark
When you can get my family's cards
For half the price
And twice the quality?
Listen to some of dese cards--
'To My Wife on Valentine's Day--I told you I wouldn't forget this year!'
--Or this one--
'To My Son for His Confirmation--Now all we gotta do is get you laid and you'll really be a may. Ayyy!'
--Or how about this one--
'To My Brother On His Wedding Day--You found the one chick in town I didn't bang. Congratulations.'
You ain't gonna find that one
In a Halllllllmark store
Right?
We got cards for all your ocassions
Birthdays
Christmas
'Sorry about your girlfriend getting knocked up when you just got that football scholarship' cards
We cover everything!
I myself wrote this one--
'I'm so sorry about the passing of your great-grandmother--but stop your pissing and moaning, she was eighty-six! Grow a set! ...And continue to mourn.'
What can I say?
Talent runs in the family
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