All the Boys in Calvin Klein

I was working at the refreshment table

And nobody would come anywhere near me

Because people weren’t really eating

In the early 90’s

Let alone models

And you had all these boys

In Calvin Klein

I was nineteen

So I was about the same age

As most of them

If not younger

Two weeks after I got to the city

From Wichita

I got this job

Handling the food

At some of these modeling shoots

And this is when every modeling shoot

Involving men and men’s clothing

Featuring barely legal young guys

In white Calvin Klein underwear

Even if the clothes weren’t Calvin Klein

And even if nobody was wearing

Any clothes

It was the same shoot

Day after day

My girlfriend back home was named Polly

I’m not joking

And, uh, we were going to get married

Once I made enough money in New York

To move her to the city with me

At which point I’m sure we would’ve been

The Joe and Harper Pitt of the Bronx

I had this little apartment

And a neighbor named Jupiter

Who did tarot readings

And cooked for me every night

Life wasn’t all that bad

Except for the fact

That the life I was walking towards

Was the life I wanted

To run away from

One day I’m at a shoot--

And--I have to say--

The models never talked to me

And it might have been because

The model’s didn’t snack

And it might have been because

I had acne and a weird haircut

And I did not look anything like

Anybody else in the room

Not even close

--But one day one of the guys talked to me

This really nice guy

Beautiful, right?

He was--

He had been at a few other shoots

He was really in demand at the time, I think

And he walks up to me

And starts to make conversation

And my heart is--

I couldn’t even--

I don’t know what I said

I gave him my name

I think I said something about how hot it was

Outside, not the, uh, you know, situation

He was very friendly

And then right before

He had to go back to work

Being gorgeous and making money for it

He asked if I wanted to get a drink
After the shoot

And I think I said ‘Flerg mashpea’

Or something like that

But he nodded

And I nodded

And I listened to the name of the bar

And what time

And then he walked back over

To take some more photos

Next to twelve other guys

Who were all better looking than I was

And that day

After the shoot

I got on a bus
And I went back to Wichita

I never met him for the drink

I never, uh…

But when I got back to Wichita

I broke up with Polly

I came out to my family

And a few months after that

I met this really wonderful guy

At a supermarket

Of all places

And we moved in together

And we’ve been, uh, pretty much inseparable

Ever since

And last week

This guy, who I love,

Who’s been my entire life

For almost thirty years

He walks into the bedroom

Wearing a pair of Calvin Klein underwear

And, uh, he’s my age, you know

And neither one of us is--

We’re not models

We’re--we look our age

And our bodies--look that way too

And, uh, he comes in

And all he has on

Are the Calvin Klein underwear

Which I’ve never seen him wear before

And I look at him

And I smile

And he sees me smiling

And says ‘What?’

Kind of with a laugh

Like the laugh you laugh
When the person who loves you

Looks at you with that

‘You’re really very beautiful’

Kind of look

And that’s how I was looking at him

And he said ‘What?’

And I said--

‘You should be a model’

And, you know, I meant it

I really meant it

He had on those Calvin Klein’s and--

They never

Looked

Better