Coming Through on Tour

“I noticed you’re coming through on tour?”

“Yes.”

“What’s the show?”

“Steel Magnolias: The Musical w/Puppets.”

“Who are you playing?”

“I actually just stand backstage and sing

when they need extra voices.”

“Thank you.”

“I mean you’re a celebrity.”

“I--thank you.”

“And you’re local, so we can take credit for you.”

“I--sure.”

“What’s it like being famous now?”

“Well, actually, I acted a lot when I lived here.  I did--”

“It was, uh, it was a little more than that. 

I worked pretty steadily for years--”

“I mean, I would have said I made it here if--”

“Don’t be ridiculous.  That’s not making it. 

You’re on tour with Steel Magnolias: The

Musical w/Puppets.  THAT’S making it.”

“That’s amazing!  You’re a star!”

“We love that.  We love that you used to do

a few things here and there.”

“And now you’re on tour.  You made it.”

"Sure."

"Your parents must be so proud."

"Well, they were proud before."

"Before when?"

"Before when I lived here and did stuff here."

"But they must be really proud now."

"Uh, they're--yeah."

"Like really, really proud.  I mean, you're a star."

"I'm--I'm just an actor.  And a singer."

"And a star."

"An actor and a singer."

"A local celebrity."

"Uh--"

"Come home.  Returning home.

Hometown hero."

"I mean, I'm not a soldier or anything--"

"A soldier of fame!"

"That's not a thing."

"Are you a millionaire now?"

"No."

"Do you know Sally Field?"

"I do not."

"But she was in the movie of this."

"Yes."

"You going to be in any movies?"

"Not that I know of."

"That would be great."

"It would be."

"Because people love movies."

"They do."

"They like theater too."

"They do."

"But not as much as movies."

"Right."

"You ever meet Julia Roberts?"

"I have not."

"She didn't come to rehearsal or anything?"

"I don't even think she knows we're doing this."

"She was great in the movie."

"She was."

"You've seen it, right?"

"I have."

"But you never met Shirley MacLaine?"

"Unfortunately I have not."

"You think she'd like the show?"

"I have no idea."

"What a crazy honor it is that you're performing

at the McGovern Hall, right?"

"It's a nice venue, yeah."

"You must have grown up dreaming of

performing on that stage."

"Uh, I grew up dreaming of winning

an Oscar, but sure, that too."

"Well for a hometown hero like you--"

"Oh boy."

"Being onstage at the McGovern

must feel like winning an Oscar."

"It doesn't, but--"

"Hey, would they let you play

the lead just for the night you're

in town?"

"It doesn't work that way."

"But it could."

"I'm a guy.  They're all...magnolias."

"That's too bad. What a great story

if somebody got sick and you went on."

"Yeah, sorry I can't give you the, uh,

story you're looking for."

"Oh, this is fine. I can work with this."

"Do you ever write about, you know,

some of the theater happening at the

places I used to work?"

"Which places?"

"Well, I did a few things at Purple Bay

and the Willerford Center and--"

"But this is so much more exciting."

"I played Romeo once. Now I'm doing

crossword puzzles backstage waiting

to sing six lines of background vocals.

I mean, it's noble work, but it's not as

artistically satisfying as--"

"Hey, have you met Dolly Parton?"

"I have not."

"I bet she's great."

"I'm sure she is."

"What would you say if you met her?"

"Never really thought about it."

"But if you met her--"

"Okay."

"What would you say?"

"I'd say she's great."

"She is, isn't she?"

"She is."

"You ever see 9 to 5?"

"I have."

"That tour came through

last year too, but there wasn't

anybody in it who used to live here."

"That's too bad."

"Yeah.  Didn't give me much

to write about."