The Husband Takes the Cake

She baked her husband
Into the birthday cake

But then she forgot

The candles

Sitting there with the cake

In a dark room

That was supposed to be lit

Romantically

By the flames of waning wax

She thought about how her husband proposed

Eleven years and four hours ago

(Not taking time zones into consideration)

He left the ring on the table

At the restaurant

Where they were getting dinner

And he went to the bathroom

When he came back

She had reluctantly agreed

But the ring was still there

On the checkered tablecloth

Waiting for someone

To give it a good home

She doesn’t remember

When she finally put it on

Probably that night

Lying in bed

Her little bedroom apartment

With its oddly shaped

Rectangle window

Looking out at a small park

With a playground

And a tree she always told herself

She would read under one day

It’s possible she still could

Trees aren’t easy to move

And the park may still be there as well

The ring was in the birthday cake

With her husband

The tip of one of his fingers

Still a bit visible

But she’d done her best

To layer on extra frosting

In order to conceal it

Not that she was trying

To hide her deed

She’d called the police

As soon as the cake was out of the oven

And invited them to come by

And have a piece

Right before they arrested her

The officer who took the call

Said they’d had more and more women

Baking their husbands into birthday cakes

And that as soon as the recent wave

Of measles was back under control

They wanted to do some sort of study

To figure out why it was happening

‘Did he ever hit you,’ the officer asked

He had been a wonderful husband

But he had been the wrong husband

And he was thoughtless

Which wasn’t wonderful

But if that’s all your husband is

It’s wonderful

Because it’s not hard to think of

All the other things he could be

Unless you have no imagination

And she had always had

A very active imagination

The right husband would have been

A little taller

A lot more creative

And a better kisser

This one could have been divorced

But it was her birthday

And she felt like cake

And she got mad looking at him

Sitting at the kitchen table

Not remembering her birthday

So up went the skillet

Against his head

Over and over again

And the next thing you know

You’re mixing your husband’s teeth

In with the batter

The idea of being a murderer

Shouldn’t have excited her

But it did

When you’ve been nobody
Your whole life

Getting to be anybody

Can seem like a nice

Change of pace

She hears the sirens

Before she sees the blue

And red lights

Run across the blinds

In the living room

For a moment

The house is lit by the law

And she sighs

As she puts down the card

She found

A few minutes

Before the cake was complete

It was from her husband

And it said ‘Love’

But no name

And no special message

Just ‘Love’

That was just like him

It was exactly

What she

Expected