Lyrics

"Gonna throw myself/Right off a roof/Gonna eat a knife/Gonna give you proof"

~ Oh my gosh, Keely!  Are you okay?
~ Yeah, they're just song lyrics, Chrissy.  Relax lol
~ LOL Sorry!

"I hate myself so much/I might go throw myself/Into a cage full of wolves/Eat my brain/Eat my spleen/Wolves"

~ Keely, are you sure you're okay?
~ Yeah, I'm great!  It's just a song I like.
~ Oh, um, okay lol

"Somebody drive a car into me/Please, please, please/Somebody put dynamite in my pants and then walk away/Please, please, please"

~ Keely, I'm a little worried
~ Chrissy, seriously, they're just songs.  It's not good to make assumptions lol
~ I know but--
~ I said lol
~ Actually you typed it.  You didn't really say--
~ LOL, Chrissy, L-O-L
~ Um, okay, lol

"If I had a friend named Chrissy/I'd probably destroy her/With laser beams/Or maybe a wrench/Like in 'Clue'/Oooooh oooh Chrissy"

~ Keely, this is getting weird.  I googled those lyrics, and nothing popped up.
~ That's because I wrote the song.
~ Okay, well then, we might need to talk.
~ Chrissy, why can't you let me express myself artistically?
~ You can, but--
~ And why do you keep writing dashes when we're arguing?
~ Sorry.
~ And why do you assume everything's about you, Chrissy?  It's not all about you!
~ OMGIFSBICDPFM!?!?!
~ Okay, I forgive you, but only because you said PFM.
~ LYSMSIADS
~ IOYDSLOL
~ LOL

"Chrissy, I'm outside your house right now/I'm watching you eat cheerios/I have a laser pointed at your head.  It's going to explode your head/Boom, boom, baby, boom boom."

~ Okay, that's definitely not a song, because there isn't even any iambic pentameter.  Also, I am eating cheerios.  Also, I think maybe I have to call the police now, Keely.

"Chrissy, call the police/Chrissy, I'm going to lick your face with my poison tongue/Chrissy, this song isn't even about you ohmygodyouresofullofyourself/Chrissssssyyyyy"

~ I'm logging off now.

"How sweet it is to be loved by you..."

~ That's James Taylor.

"Chrissy, you're a fool!"

~ Okay, I think that's you again.

"Chrissy, all creatures of Earth hate you"

~ Goodnight, Keely.

"Ostiches and lemons"

~ Goodnight

"Dandelions and monkeys.  Potatoes and potato farmers all hate Chrissyyyyy..."

~ Chrissy has signed off