Born Quiet

I was born quiet

I cried

A normal amount

But nothing more

Nothing more than that

I don’t stay quiet

But I’m born quiet

There’s a moment

Where my mother holds me

And she wonders

How on earth

She’s going to keep me safe

Until the moment she dies

And then she thinks about

What’ll happen

After she dies

Will I be safe then?

Assuming she can keep me safe

Up to that point

Which, statistically

Is actually not that likely

When you think about

What the word ‘safe’ means

She can’t stop someone

From cutting me off

In traffic

And ruining my day

She can’t stop

Someone I love

From not loving me back

She can’t be there

To block every unkind word

And nasty remark

There are so many things

She doesn’t have

The slightest bit

Of control over

And I’m quiet

I’m looking up at her

Moving my arms around

Kicking my little feet

Making every beautiful

Baby noise

Any baby

Has ever made

But all it adds up to

Are some gurgles

And hiccups

And what might be a sneeze

Other than that

I’m quiet

She thinks about all the staircases

I’m going to have to walk down

The cars I’m going to have to ride in

Until I’m driving one myself

The school bullies

I may be prey to

Part of her wonders

How she’s not crying

As she’s staring at me

Knowing all

That could be in front of me

But even though

She never believed in it before

She now realizes

That being ‘too tired to cry’

Is a very real thing

She can’t cry

And I can’t cry

And so we both

Just share some quiet time

Worrying about each other

And loving each other

Yes, I worry about my mother

I worry about her

Because she worries about me

And this will hint at the lifetime we’ll spend

Worrying about how we worry

About each other

My mother won’t outlive me

Which is devastating to me

But a great relief to her

There really is no happy ending

When you love another person

Because even if everything

Happens the way it’s supposed to

Everything still ends

In tears

Quiet tears

She eventually hands me back to the nurse

So she and I can rest

From all the worrying

We’re doing

All the other babies

In the newborn wing

Are screaming

And wailing

And I’m just sitting there

Letting people comment

On what a nice

Quiet baby I am

And outside

The world gets louder

And louder