Born Smiling

I’m smiling

When I’m born

They say babies

Don’t smile

For the same reasons

The rest of us smile

It’s just a random physicality

A tic or something

But I smile

Throughout most

Of my infancy

And childhood

And when I become an adult

I’m still smiling

Which is how you know I’m miserable

I spend my life

Hearing people say--

You’re so happy

All the time

And I always thank them

For saying that

And inside

I just want to kick their faces off

With the sharpest pair of boots

I can find

Beware the smilers

Ladies and gentlemen

We’re all thoroughly damaged

When I’m thirty-seven

I’m driving through the desert

With my mother

And we’re singing The Beach Boys

And I can’t explain to you

Why any of that is happening

I’m assuming we’re on a trip
And I’m assuming we like The Beach Boys

And I’m assuming we realize how silly it is

To sing The Beach Boys

In the middle of the desert

And I hope it’s an American desert

And I’m not driving down a road in the Sahara

When I’m thirty-seven

But I’m a smiler

So I just sort of have to hope

That everything’s fine

Because part of smiling all the time

Is not asking too many questions

While you grind your teeth down to stubs

We’re driving through the desert

And we’re singing “Wouldn’t It Be Nice?”

Which is such a clichéd thing to sing

But that’s honestly what we’re doing

And, uh, we stop

And get out of the car

And we turn the volume

All the way up

So you can hear it in space practically

And we’re dancing around the car

And I’m guessing my mom is pretty fun

Because she seems pretty fun

And all of this is seen

Through the Magic Eye

Or whatever it is we infants have

So I’m wondering when the image

Is going to cut out

Because these little glimpses of the future

Never last very long

But this one does

It just goes on and on

And we’re dancing

And then it rewinds

And we’re in the car

And the desert is vast

And the car is a piece of junk

But the a/c works

And my mother is tapping her nails

Against the window

And I have no idea where we’re going

And I’m smiling

And I have no idea

Why I’m smiling

At one point my mother tells me

She used to be a movie star

But I don’t know if that’s true

But I also don’t know

Why it wouldn’t be true

At this point in the future

Of human history

Movies might be

A thing of the past

I have no idea

But she’s talking

And she’s smiling

And I’m driving

And I have my eyes on the road

And then The Beach Boys comes on

And I stop the car

And we’re dancing

And we’re dancing

And we’re dancing

And we’re dancing

Then we get back in the car

And we drive away

And the whole thing

Is like the ending of a movie

That I haven’t seen

The beginning of yet

Although I’m the beginning

At the moment I’m born

That’s the beginning

And the ending

Looks lovely

Assuming the ending

Is--I don’t know

The car flying into the sky

Or something

But it all looks so nice

Even the desert

So maybe that’s why I’m smiling

Maybe that’s why

I’ve always been

Smiling