Oops!...I Did It Again

I made so many mistakes

In college

Nobody saw it coming

Least of all me

This was back when I was

Really into Britney Spears

I mean, I’m still really into her

But, like, there’s just not as much

To be into

You know what I mean?

Just, like, in terms of content

No shade

Like, who am I to shade anybody?

I would, like, wake up

Turn to whoever was next to me

And be like--

That was fun

But you have to go

I have class

Even though I never had fun

And I never went to class

Then I would walk to the gym

And sit outside it

Drinking my coffee

Like, it felt good

To be near a gym

In gym clothes

So people walking by me

Would be like--

Oh, she goes to the gym

So I’d do that

For about

An hour or so

Headphones on

Listening to Oops!...I Did It Again

Which is the dumbest-greatest song

That’s ever existed

If you want to know the truth

After I was done with my coffee

I’d walk to the dining hall

And eat some Twizzlers

That was either lunch or dinner

Depending on what time I woke up

College was--

It was just a really

Confusing, but, like--

Miraculous time for me

You know?

Like, I can’t believe

I lived that way

I can’t believe

I’m still living that way

But, like, once you start

It’s so hard to stop

It’s not exactly an addiction

Because it wasn’t like

I was cooking meth

In my dorm room or anything
I just got really caught up in

Not giving a fuck

And loving Britney Spears

That’s just, like, who I was

And, you know, am

It was just great

To have someone
I could identify with

In terms of, uh, you know,

Not caring

And, also, being, like,

A fucking rockstar

And Britney was both of those things

For me

This was back before

People were, like, really worried for her

But I was never worried for her

Because I was, like,

If I can survive college

Britney can survive college

Or, like, anything else

She needs to survive

And I have, you know,
Survived

For the most part

Depending on what, like,

Your definition of ‘survival’ is

I mean, I’m not dead

So, like, de facto

I’m alive

A la surviving

So just

Like

Shut the fuck up, you know?

Not be to be confrontational

I don’t have the energy for that

I wouldn’t say I still make

As many mistakes as I used to

Because you have to regret something

In order for it

To be a mistake

That’s how I look at it

That’s, uh--

Yeah

What were we talking about?