A Bird Predicts the Weather

Well, I'd say...

It's probably going to rain

If I had to say

I'd go with...

Yeah, I guess rain

Normally when it rains
I like to fly inside of a barn

You know, when I can find a barn
Which isn't, you know, always easy
But...

I do like turtles
Just decided
Just decided, you know what?

Turtles are fun

I mean, sure
They're reptiles
I'm a bird
But I don't see why we can't have a good time

Like if we were to find a barn
In the rain
Hang out
Maybe play Scattergories or something
I'm sure we'd get along, right?

Hmm?

Oh right
The weather

...Yeah, I'd say rain

Or you know, maybe snow

Is it July?

If it's July
Probably not snow

But then again...

No, I guess I should play it safe here

You must be planning a picnic or something, right?

That's why you're asking me about the weather?

I'd say rain, not snow

Oh darn, I guess rain would mean
Your picnic's still ruined

Okay, well
Then let's say cloudy

Oh but then I'm lying to you
Darn
I'm really backed into a corner here

Because if I tell what I believe to be the truth
I feel somewhat responsible
For ruining your good time

And then if it doesn't rain
I've ruined your good time
AND for no reason

But if I lie about what I'm thinking might happen
Then you could be out there celebrating
Eating potato salad
In the gorgeous July weather
And suddenly it's pouring
And you're cursing that little bird
Who told you it wasn't going to rain
Even though he was pretty sure it was

Man, what a predicament

You know who never gets into predicaments like these?

Turtles

Because they just tell the truth
They don't care what the result is
They tell--the truth

Sometimes when I'm really in a quandary
Like, a puzzling moral quagmire
I just say to myself--

I wonder where I can find a turtle
To tell these nice people
That their picnic is going to have to be rescheduled

I mean, there are other weekends in July and--

Huh?

It's December?

Why are you having a picnic in December?
Is it a Christmas picnic?

That could be fun

Oh, you're not having a picnic

Well then why did you ask me about the weather when--

You didn't ask?

Oh gosh, did I just start predicting the weather again
Without anybody even asking me?

Man, I hate when I do that

I'm really sorry

Well anyway, there's probably going to be
A tornado this weekend

That's what I was thinking all along
But I didn't want to scare you
So I sort of lied
And I apologize for that

Do you think I'm going to get a turtle for Christmas?

I don't really know who would buy me one
But if somebody did
It would really fill me with joy

Anyway, I should go

I need to start looking for a barn to hide in
When that earthquake hits

Huh?

Oh, tornado, earthquake, sandstorm

It's all the same when you're in a barn

That's what I find anyway

But hey, that's just my opinion