The Swiss Family Robinson Gets Cable

Hello Father, how are you on this wonderful day?

The broken pulley?

Um, yeah
Yeah, yeah
I was going to fix it
But, uh--something kinda...came up?

Well, remember what a great job you did
Of setting up that satellite dish
Made out of coconut husks
So that we could get rain forecasts
Broadcast on this television we made
Out of a gutted sloth?

Funnily enough
We don't just get weather forecasts

It seems that we're also getting, uh
Cable

Yeah, it's pretty fantastic

Although, admittedly
We haven't really gotten to our chores
For the past, um, three days

Well, we meant to, Dad
I mean, we know you really wanted
The turnips harvested
Before monsoon season hits
But there was a 'My Fair Wedding' marathon on
And before we knew it
Eight hours had come and gone
And the turnips were still sitting in the ground

Well, it's not just me, Dad!

Remember how Fritz was supposed to go down
To Smoking Rock
And see if any other potential brides had washed ashore?

Apparently, he got sidetracked
By a riveting episode
Of 'True Life: I Like Puppets A Little Too Much'

Ernest and Jack did manage to build that hut you wanted
On the North Side of the Island
But that's only because they're practicing
To get on the next season
Of 'Survivor'

I tried telling them
That their entire life is 'Survivor'
But there was no reasoning with them

The clothes haven't been washed either
Because Mother and Jenny
Now claim to be addicted
To some show on TLC
Called 'The Albino Hairstylist's Big Southern Wedding'
Even though it's pretty much identical
To a show on the Style Network
Called 'A Girl With No Pigmentation Does Hair While Planning Her Nuptials in Dixie'

I admit there are small differences
Like one has an opinionated gay friend named Clojeann and one--

All right, all right!

I'm sorry, Father

I didn't realize maintaining our habitat
And ensuring our survival was so important
That it couldn't wait until after 'Emergency Puppy Rescue'

My mistake

I'll get to it right away
Just let me--

Well, I don't know
I mean, usually the puppy gets rescued
But it's hard to say

No, I don't know how it got on top of that Sonic Burger
Why don't you sit down for a minute
And we can find out

Oh, of course
Just a minute
That's all

Can't hurt, right?

The hole will only take a second to patch up
Besides, the wolves barely ever go near
That part of the fence anymore anyway

Besides, this is good for us

It's family time, right Father?

And family is important