Larger Than Life

We had to put on Larger Than Life

Or nothing would happen

Everybody would be standing around

Making small talk

Chitchat

Stupid jokes

Some good jokes

A few engaged conversations

It was unbearable

Somebody brought up

What they were reading

And I was like--

Oh god, we’re talking about books now?

Books?  No

No

No no no

So I put on Larger Than Life

And right away

Everything started to go

In a better direction

People started dancing

Dancing led to kissing

KIssing led to--

Well it led

To a much better party

That was how it always went

If you didn’t put on

Larger Than Life

Nothing would ever get going

People need an excuse

To do what they want

They can’t just do it

Which doesn’t make any sense

We’re not talking about murder here

At worst

At worst

It’s hedonism

Not homicide

But it doesn’t matter

The minute your bring up anything sexual

Everybody freezes up

And you can just feel the tension in the room

become , uh, uh--

Relentless

And then, without fail,

Somebody says--

Why don’t we put on some music?

And just once I’d like to say--

Why don’t we not do that?

Or, or--

Why do we have to do that?

We’re adults

Can’t we just ask for what it is we--

We’re adults

Why do we need the Backstreet Boys

To help us

Unleash our inner desires?

Sometimes I turn up the volume

Louder and louder

To see if anybody
Asks me to stop

But they don’t

They never do

The louder it gets

The more into it they get

And the more into it they get

The more all I want to do

Is start walking around

Slapping everybody across the face

Saying--

Stop it

Stop it

Stop it

Not to, not to

Not to stop

What they’re doing

But what it takes

To get them to do it

Can’t they see

That there’s no real difference?

Who they are

Before the song starts

And who they are

The next morning

When they put on

Their running shoes

And try to sweat out

The evening’s pop-driven

Bad decisions

Is the same

Fucking

Person

One day somebody was having a party

During the day

It was a barbecue or something

I don’t know

And there were kids

Kids and just other people

Who don’t usually

Go to the, uh,

Other parties

That we throw

And the music was just

On shuffle

And Larger Than Life

Came on

And right away

Everyone just ran

Ran

Right towards the, the--

The speaker

Then the phone

That the speaker

Was hooked up to

And, uh, and--

Shut it off

They all, they--

The practically fell

On top of this speaker

Trying to get it

To stop

Trying to make the song

Go away

So they never had to associate

A moment like this

A daytime moment

With who they are

At night

They all ran

But not me

Not me

I didn’t move

A muscle