Junk Food and Lottery Tickets

Spends all her money

On junk food

And lottery tickets

But what’s your business

And what’s not?

That's what you always have to ask yourself
As a mother

What's my business? Junk food isn't my business
And neither is gambling, so...

I told her

You do what you want

Not like she asks to borrow

Not like she asks for a loan

The other kids do--

Sam, Toby

Everybody wants a hand-out

But not Marissa

Marissa never asks

Never asks for a thing

I go over her house

And there she is

With the pretzel bags

And no job

I ask her how she even--

How she even affords

The pretzels, you know?

It’s not like junk food is cheap

Just ‘cause it’s junk

She tells me ‘Don’t worry about it’

So I don’t

Because I do what I’m told

Even when it’s my kids

Telling me to do it

God knows I never got all my stuff

In ways people would want to know about

So who am I to judge

And since I can’t judge

I don’t ask

That’s how that works

Every once in awhile

I’ll go over there

And she’ll hand me a lottery ticket

And say--

Hey Mom, this one’s a winner

And I take it

And cash it for her

And she lets me keep

Twenty or thirty of it

Marissa is lucky

I’ll give her that

Never had anybody lucky in the family

Until her

So maybe she’s living on luck

Luck and pretzels

And that soda she likes

That they only sell

At the one store

I buy a pack

And bring it to her

That’s my how I get to see her

Because she won’t invite me over

Not because she doesn’t like me

But because she isolates herself

And forgets that people are something you need

In your life

Not necessarily family

But people

Usually when I get there

Somebody I don’t know

Is walking out the door

Who’s that, Marissa?

Don’t worry about it

Okay, so I don’t

I can’t worry about stuff

People tell me

Not to worry about

The stuff I do need

To worry about

Has enough of my mind locked up

Sam, Toby--gotta worry about them
But I don't have to tell you that

And I think the reason I don’t worry about Marissa

Is because I get the feeling

That something’s going to happen to her someday

And when it does

Nobody and nothing’s going to stop it

Not me worrying

And not me checking in on her

And not me bugging her

Because she’s living off Doritos

And cross-checking lottery tickets for hours

Seeing if she’s hit the big one

So she can finally get a leg up

And a foot out the door

Girl’s only got a little bit of time

Before whatever’s gonna happen happens

And nobody knows what it is

Except maybe Marissa

I look at her

And I think

That girl knows how it’s all

Going to end